The Misadventures of Slitherfuck and Metalface
by LilyKotsu
Summary: To Cobra, "probation" was perhaps the most grating word he'd ever heard. To Gajeel, it was just another job with an aggravating teammate. Dragons are territorial and tend to be combative - but when other dragon instincts get in the way, being argumentative is the least confusing thing about their new partnership. [Cojeel. M/M and Timeline Alterations.] **New Version**
1. Ouroboros Begins

**Rated M for:** violence, M/M, smut, and sensitive material. **Please note that there are Timeline Alterations present in this fic.**

 **Authors' Note:** This fanfic is co-authored by two people: Jeely and LilyKotsu. The events in this story began in roleplay and evolved into something much more. *****This story was previously listed under Jeely's profile and has since moved to Lily's for convenience.*****

* * *

 _"... Dragons, while mostly solitary creatures, can congregate in what is called a 'flight'. Similar to a wolf pack or lion pride, there is always a clear alpha; usually male, though alpha females are not unheard of. The alpha's rule over the less dominant dragons in his flight is absolute, unless he is dethroned by a challenger..."_

~ Dragon Historia, pg 12

 **Chapter One: Ouroboros Begins**

Dank, dark, and altogether miserable; not words one would want to describe an unpaid job, but Gajeel found himself stumbling into them far too often. This time they accompanied a mission given to him by the Master in secret. As the Master's grandson had recently been expelled from Fairy Tail it fell to Gajeel to track Laxus and ensure the boy had come to no harm nor been discovered by certain darks guilds out for his life, and Gajeel was none too pleased. He couldn't refuse a direct order, however, so the Iron Dragonslayer set off for misadventures untold.

It was easy enough for a seasoned Dragonslayer to track Laxus down. The scent of fresh air after a storm and cloying cologne drew Gajeel to the outskirts of an old graveyard overrun by moss and ivy, the myriad branches of late-blooming trees meshing together to form a flowering wall above the rotting remains of wooden fencing.

Another smell - that of blood, leather, and battle - mingled with that of the Thunder God, fighting to make itself known above Laxus' stench. Gajeel kept to the moss to muffle his steps and stayed well downwind of his quarry; but as he drew closer to the heavy scent that was undoubtedly Laxus, he noted the unfamiliar scent was closer than he had originally thought.

"I doubt he'll kick up too much of a hassle," Laxus said, leaning against one of the larger mossy graves. He folded his thick arms over his chest, then waved one of his hands for emphasis. "Old man loves a good redemption story. He won't turn away somebody who's injured, either. Not saying I'm playing his chords, but... just saying it works in your favor." There was a thoughtful pause, and the sound of a rustling cloak.

The sounds returned to the eerie quietness of the old graveyard. Any further movement to see lead to only one sight: Laxus, dressed in common clothes and a traveller's cloak, leaning against a crumbling grave while the air about him seemed to be stained with an overwhelming smugness.

The scent of blood had moved closer, however. Almost like it was right behind Gajeel...

"What are you doing here, low breed?" came a gravelly and sneering voice, just before a foot kicked the back of the iron dragon's head.

Bright spots erupted in Gajeel's eyes and he stumbled out of cover, but he quickly caught himself and swung around into a defensive stance as instinct took hold, metallic scales growing along his raised forearms.

Before him stood an unfamiliar face. Dark red hair, tan skin, stupid slanty eyes. Fucker was injured, his right arm in a bloody sling that he tried to hide under his own traveller's cloak. He was very thin and wasn't very big, he was just about Salamander's height - which seemed almost dwarfed in comparison to the Thunder God over yonder.

Most importantly the stranger wasn't pressing the attack further, and he certainly didn't smell like anyone from Raven Tail.

"I oughtta be asking you that same thing, ya dirty fuck," Gajeel retorted. "What, you trying to drag Laxus to the dark side?" But even as he asked, Gajeel knew it wasn't true. A dark guild wouldn't employ such a shabby recruiter, nor send someone already injured into a possible fight. Then again, most dark mages he knew were complete dicks.

The stranger's posture didn't change, a stance that, even with a bum arm, seemed to be eerily confident. He looked at Gajeel's scales, but seemed completely unphased by their presence. "Your Master sent you to spy on Laxus." He gave a tired smirk, then looked to Laxus. "So this is the idiot you were talking about," he commented, moving past Gajeel with silent steps.

"Figures," Laxus grunted, stepping away from his grave. "Might as well invite him to the party, then, eh?" His guest didn't seem all too pleased with the proposal, but Laxus was already hatching an idea. "I don't need some recycled waste of space tailing me everywhere I go, but maybe you can make yourself useful. I've got a job for you, trash, and I'll even pay you for it, unlike that old man of mine."

Gajeel bristled under the rash of insults, but here Laxus was willing to provide something he sorely needed; rent money. Pride could wait, Gajeel decided as he begrudgingly followed the redheaded weirdo into the mossy clearing.

"So you've knocked some sense into that thick skull of yours, have you?" Laxus smirked when he received no response. "Good. Now, listen closely. You're going back to Fairy Tail, you're gonna get the Master, and bring him here. Understand?"

"Yeah, yeah, I got it," Gajeel responded gruffly. "Now how much you payin' for this shit?"

Laxus' smirk grew into a full-blown smug caricature as he stepped forward and pinned a letter to the front of Gajeel's tunic. "I'm paying you by not killing you," Laxus growled, warning sparks skittering across his arms. Where they strayed too close, the errant electricity arced onto Gajeel and burned his skin. "Got it?"

"Y-Yeah..." He should fight. He knew he should fight. But the excruciating memory of taking the full brunt of Laxus' fury so Natsu could survive was still fresh in his mind. He had no choice but to comply.

All the while the stranger had climbed up on one of the larger graves and made himself content in the soft moss and princess pine that covered it. His narrow eyes keenly watching the situation, he then turned his violet glance away and smirked at Laxus' form of payment. "Impressive, a First Gen that knows how to take orders," the redhead commented, leaning back on his one good arm. "I can hear how well you've trained him." 'Like a dog' the stranger's tone seemed to imply, though the words weren't said.

Gajeel had to look away to keep from glaring literal daggers. He had made a promise to the old man that he'd bring him news of the brat without causing a commotion. He would have to let this one go. That didn't mean he couldn't think about beating them both to a bloody pulp, which he did with gusto as he turned and skulked from the graveyard. Neither would have a bone left in their body by the time he made it back to the guild.

* * *

Fairy Tail was as lively as ever, noise and rowdy energy radiating out of every mage present in the large guild hall. So much so, that no one seemed to pay any attention to the black-haired man that came stalking in through the front doors; a man with a scowl that could have drilled through skulls.

It was with some misfortune that he almost tripped over the smiling shillelagh that suddenly stuck out from behind one of the great pillars. The short, elderly man who emerged soon after was at no loss for his own aged smile, looking up at Gajeel with a warm expectation. "I can only guess from that look on your face that you came across my grandson out there," Master Makarov commented. His voice held with it a promise that it would be fine if the iron dragon hadn't.

"I found your brat alright," Gajeel said with some distaste. "I got found out; he had some freak with him, and now he seems to think I'm the official Dreyar errand boy. He wanted you to have this." He withdrew a heavily crumpled envelope from a deep pocket it and shoved it in front of the Master. The envelope was plain, aside from a single etched lightning bolt on the front; an enchantment that would no doubt zap whoever opened it were they not the intended recipient.

Makarov took the envelope and withdrew a letter, reading in silence. His kindly smile morphed into a mask of surprise as his eyes scanned the page, then melted into a tired frown and a sigh of resignation. "I've a new task for you, Gajeel. You need to show me to where you found Laxus - he didn't write down a meeting place. This could be dangerous, so I want you to keep an eye on things while we're there."

Damn. He really _was_ the Dreyar errand boy.

In the background, Natsu's grating voice unfurled a story of how he shouted some guy half to death and then somebody got shot. If Gajeel wasn't careful, he thought he'd go the same way at this rate.


	2. Previously Aggressive

_"A dragon flight rules over a territory, which is divided up into individual domains, domains shared by a mated pair or siblings, and familial nesting sites. Dragons new to a flight, or a trespasser in a flight's territory, may show aggressive behavior to stake their own claim..."_

~ Dragon Historia, pg 14

 **Chapter Two: Previously Aggressive**

It was raining; only slightly, but enough to dampen a person's clothes were they to stay out too long. Gajeel was thoroughly soaked. His hair lay limp and heavy, while his clothes clung to every curve. Between the pounding of the rain, the thick wooden door, and the stampede of voices coming from the tavern he was forced to wait outside of, Gajeel couldn't hear a damned thing. And just inside, no doubt beside a warm fireplace with ale in hand, Laxus and his new pet were talking to Master Makarov.

 _'Wait out here,'_ they had said, _'We'll only be five minutes!'_

"Well five minutes my ass!" Gajeel swore and turned to kick the doorframe he had been leaning on. "And who the hell is that twiggy fuck, anyway? Struts around like he's some big deal, all he'll get coming to him is an iron fist to the face!" Unable to think of further ways to curse out someone who wasn't there, Gajeel let his eyes fall to the dent he'd left in the doorframe. The wood was splintered and would likely make it slightly difficult for anyone to enter or exit the tavern.

But hey, the door deserved it! Appeased for now, the iron dragon settled against the undamaged side of the doorframe and crossed his arms across his chest, ready to continue the waiting game.

* * *

He was the only one at the booth who didn't flinch when the wall of the tavern thudded, some of the brick-a-brack falling off the old walls. It took a lot more than that to surprise him; he knew everything that was coming, anything that anyone planned to do.

Cobra held his tongue as Laxus and the Fairy Guildmaster looked back at the door and exchanged glances with one another. The poison dragon would have made a whole slew of comments about the iron dragon - how impatient he was, how uncouth he was, how low-bred he was - but he could _hear_ that it wouldn't score him points with the old man. That and, on the other hand, Makarov was Laxus' grandfather. Cobra could show the man respect.

"What an impatient moron," Laxus grumbled.

Master Makarov sighed. Cobra could _hear_ that Makarov agreed, but also thought that most of the Dragonslayers were impatient and loud, Laxus included.

"Mhm," Cobra sounded in agreement, as if it were all a fresh conversation. He idly played with the sling his right arm was slung in.

"But back to the matter we're here to discuss," Makarov went on, "About this young man here changing sides. Taking in a man like Gajeel, from Phantom Lord, which at one point was a legal guild, is one thing. Explain to me why Fairy Tail should be risked to take in someone hailing from one of the big Balaam dark guilds?"

Cobra would give the old guy some credit; he wasn't stupid. Makarov had made a point not to directly mention the name Oracion Seis around here.

"Because I asked you, Gramps," Laxus stated. "Cobra's an old friend of mine. He... just needs someplace else to go."

Damn right, Cobra wasn't about to go to prison. He'd heard what went on in there.

"And if it's that legal crap you're worried about, the Council and the Rune Knights can't touch him if he joins a legit guild. Like how they can't go after that shithead outside for what he did in Phantom."

The blond went to pat Cobra on the shoulder, only instead of a pat it felt more like a punch with his injury.

"Watch it," Cobra hissed through gritted fangs.

The old Saint eyed Laxus' interaction and Cobra's reaction. "Tell me, how did you get that injury? Did Natsu do it to you?"

Cobra froze. He could _hear_ that Makarov knew the story. Salamander had loudly bragged about the whole encounter, told the story about facing one of the Demon Generals - yet oddly enough, Cobra couldn't hear that the pink-haired nitwit had said anything about beating him.

"No." It was a simple answer.

"Then how did it happen?"

 _He wants me to admit it._ Again Cobra held his tongue, opting to swallow instead. "I got shot."

"Shot by whom?"

Taking in a controlled breath, Cobra again held his temper at bay. His eyes shifted away from the elder Fairy. "M... My old Master." There was so much anger, so much betrayal and venom in that sentence that Makarov got the message to not press it further. Calling Brain 'master' seemed like such a fucking farce. A moment of silence passed before Cobra started again. "It's like Laxus said. I do not have anywhere to go back to; I can't keep running from the Council forever. I can give you my word that I'll keep my nose out of things that might bring the guild trouble."

The words seemed to weigh with Master Makarov, at the very least.

"Besides," Laxus threw in, "Fairy Tail kind of owes him a new place."

Cobra's ears lightly twitched, the thoughts of Makarov coming to him. _Wait, is the old guy really thinking like_ that _?_ "And," Cobra carefully decided to indulge in that last thought, "You'll have the complete set of Dragonslayers."

Bingo. That, oddly enough, seemed to seal the deal. "Fine. Then if you're really going to be held to your word and join us, I've got three requirements for you, Cobra. One, you aren't to engage in any illegal activity and are to cut all ties with your former dark mage associates. Two, if I find out that you are harming or betraying _anyone_ in Fairy Tail - well, let's just say that there won't be a chance for you to be tried in the Council's court. And Three, try to stay out of fights in the guildhall. I don't need four rowdy dragons tearing the poor old place down."

"A toast, then, to new homes and not giving a shit!" Laxus said and downed the rest of his beer in one go, signaling the end of the deliberations. Makarov followed suit, though more sedated, leaving just Cobra and Cobra's suspiciously non-alcoholic drink.

"It's been a while since we've welcomed another into our family," Makarov said, looking to Cobra with a glint of humor in his eye. "I believe the last was Wendy, after- well, she didn't have much of a home to return to after the Nirvana incident. Isn't it funny how these things turn out?"

"Yeah, yeah, enough with the sentimental bullshit. You've still got an iron dipshit outside to babysit."

Laxus' point was punctuated by the sound of the door slamming inwards and falling off its hinges; a group of bargoers seeking to drop in for the night were unable to open the jammed door, and Gajeel was kind enough to knock it open for them.

Makarov could only gawk in horror, already tallying the damage expenses in his mind.

"We'll just pretend he's not with us..."

"Agreed," Laxus and Cobra both said.

* * *

The sun was just setting when the Guildmaster walked back through the large wooden doors of Fairy Tail, two figures begrudgingly trailing behind him. Laxus had stayed behind, as per the current arrangement he had with Makarov.

Most of the Fairies knew the irate Gajeel, but who was the young man with the crimson hair?

Cobra could _hear_ them; their questions, their concerns, their... opinions on how nice his butt was? He shook his head and pretended he hadn't heard that last part. He was uncomfortable with such things.

His ass aside, everyone wasn't as annoying as he was expecting. That was, until...

"HEY, GRAMPS!" the voice echoed, but Cobra wasn't sure if that was the building or simply how loud Natsu was to ears. "WHERE DID YOU GO WITH GAJEEL?" Natsu approached the three, still covered in medical tape and recovering from the damage Cobra had done to him.

Cobra couldn't help the prideful smirk that crept up on his flat features. At least he only had a shot shoulder.

"WAIT, WHAT'S COBRA DOING HERE?"

"That would be your new guildmate," Makarov responded with a mischievous smile.

Natsu wasn't convinced. The pink-haired dragonlsayer squinted and stared at his former enemy as if he could make things make sense faster by peering harder. This bout of thinking caught Cobra's ears and made him shudder, tossing an annoyed look at the scarf-wearing fire dragon.

"Stop it," he hissed lowly.

"STOP WHAT?"

"That."

"WHAT?"

Cobra motioned with his hand, up and down.

Confused, Natsu spun in a circle. Clearly there was something on his back, and that bastard Gray must have put it there!

* * *

Natsu's hour-long plan to catch his own ass was met with unparalleled success when Erza approached with the guild stamp in hand. She pushed the dizzy fire dragon away from the poison dragon, for now. After a nod of encouragement from the Master, Cobra turned away from the rest of the guild and reluctantly lifted the front of his shirt, oddly protective of letting anyone but the necessary see his exposed skin. He allowed just enough room for Erza to press the stamp against his stomach. A hum and soft light emitted from beneath the enchanted wooden block. When the light faded, Erza pulled the stamp away and stepped back. Cobra's skin bore the mark of Fairy Tail, crimson in color.

It took until Cobra rolled his shirt down for this act to sink in with the rest of the guild. All at once, pandemonium erupted.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE'S OUR GUILDMATE NOW, WE HAVEN'T HAD OUR REMATCH YET!" Natsu enthusiastically shouted, no longer dizzy.

"Are you a nice Dragonslayer like Wendy, or do we gotta put on our new-friend helmets again?"

"Nice ass!"

"What's with his arm?"

"COBRA, FIGHT ME!" Natsu shoved his way through the crowd again.

 _ **"SILENCE!"**_ Erza's commanding presence at once stymied the flood of questions and surge of curious fairies. Her glare emptied a small perimeter around the new fairy, but the rest were too intrigued to return to what they were doing. "Now that I have your attention," she continued, turning her glare to Cobra and Gajeel, "There are some ground rules you must follow."

' _Rules that don't exist and that I have just made up'. Right, Titania?_ Cobra let out a sigh through his nose, pushing back the need to be snippy with the woman.

"Until such time as we deem you trustworthy, Gajeel is to accompany you on all jobs. You can redeem yourself, Cobra, and Gajeel can prove himself responsible."

From the force of Erza's tone it was clear the only judge involved would be herself.

Gajeel bristled under the insult, but with the Master behind her and onlookers surrounding them, a rare moment of wisdom urged him to caution. "So what, I get the babysitting detail? I don't need the help in the field, and I don't need a pet snake. I-"

"Will recover stolen goods for Lord Taillefer with Cobra or get _both_ of your memberships revoked." Erza stared down the two Dragonslayers, daring either to protest.

"Any questions?"

 _Yes, I have one,_ Cobra mentally snarked. He placed his free hand on his hip, under his cloak while listening to Erza go on about how she was going to keep an especially good eye on him. _Are you still angry that I got the better of you in that fight, or are there any_ monthly _reasons why you're a bitch?_


	3. First Job

_"Dragons are separated into elemental breeds. Each elemental breed has their own behavioral patterns."_ ~ Dragon Historia, pg 3

 **Chapter Three: First Job**

The woods were lovely, dark and deep. But one of the mages sneaking through the underbrush had promises to keep... like not poisoning this lout following him and tossing the body in a shallow grave.

After Titania had oh-so-graciously "given" the brand new - and entirely forced, Cobra would add - team this job, they'd waited a day before even setting out for it. Night had fallen in their procrastination.

He had been right in saying that the old man wasn't stupid. Cobra had paperwork to fill out, and a contract to sign; a contract stating what he'd promised to Makarov. Which, sadly, barred Cobra from offing Gajeel. With poison. Or a knife. Or a poisoned knife? No, no. A knife wouldn't work on Gajeel, Corba could _hear_ it.

For every quiet, soundless step that Cobra took, Gajeel took two trudging ones with those heavy boots of his. Served Cobra right for suggesting a shortcut through the forest. Eventually the trees and bushes thinned out, opening up at the base of a wide and high cliff. Up top rested the outer walls of a mansion that looked out upon the Southern Woodsea.

Cobra stopped, not even looking back at his new "partner" as he surveyed the new obstacle. "Please tell me that you're not already out of breath," he sighed, although his tone was not surprised in the least bit.

"I'm not out of breath, asshole," Gajeel grunted in response. Sure, he was breathing hard, but who wouldn't be after clambering through miles of brush and bush and bramble? This slithery fuck didn't count, of course - freaks of nature were excluded from all things abnormal. At least they'd made it to what looked to be their destination, a new obstacle which was much more the iron dragon's speed. He knocked his fist against the stone experimentally a couple times and, seemingly satisfied, twisted his fist into an iron climbing pick. "You ready for some real exercise, twiggy?" Gajeel asked, split by a crooked grin. All this talk about thieves, arrogant nobles, and gold for the taking got him all revved up for a good workout, and it looked like his patience was finally about to pay off. One quick climb to go and they'd be in action!

The redhead glanced between Gajeel and the cliff, moving the hand of his bad arm in a slightly sarcastic manner. "And here I was hoping there'd just be an elevator."

"... A what?" Gajeel stared at Cobra in bafflement for a moment, then turned his gaze to the cliffside as if it might transform at any moment. "You mean like those moving buffets?" Now there was a thought, get a good meal in before kicking ass. Though they were already here, taking time out to eat would throw their schedule off... Enticing as it was, Gajeel waved the thought off and jammed his other fist-pick into the cliffside. "Ya should've eaten before we came, y'know. We got work to do!"

Work that entailed breaking into a fortified mansion perched upon a cliff to reclaim an item stolen from their client. To Gajeel, the best means of breaking and entering entailed climbing the cliff which led to the mansion's back wall - no one would suspect on assault from beneath a hundred-foot drop, after all. He dug his iron pick-hands into the stone and with little effort hoisted himself off the ground. With his spike-toed boots firmly implanted in stone, Gajeel turned to check his partner's progress. "You comin', twig?"

Cobra once again looked up at the mansion. Cocking a thin brow, he said: "Yeah, see. I can't do... Whatever it is you're doing."

Gajeel rolled his eyes in response, breaking his stride to wait for the clearly handicapped shit-head he got saddled with. "Why don't you just tie a rope to my ass and hitch a ride up then, eh? Not like the cliff's gonna climb itself."

A wide and displeased frown spread across Cobra's face. _At least my "handicap" isn't a mental one._ "How about I _don't_ do that, and instead go _around_ the cliff?"

"What, are you mental? That's exactly what they'd expect! Tch, and here I thought you were supposed to be some great tactician..." Undeterred, Gajeel took a couple more swings and began his ascent. "Fine, I'll meet you up there. First one there gets to pick how we get home."

Cobra turned on his heel and headed back into the dark woods, his frown melting into a self-assured smirk. "Enjoy the guard golems in the guy's yard."

* * *

The front gates of Lord Taillefer's mansion were large and made of thick wrought iron bars. Bars that had just enough space for someone to pass through if they were thin enough; which, luckily for Cobra, happened to be just the right width for him. He wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Having the iron idiot eat them would have been too easy a plan, plus Cobra liked making Gajeel miss out on a potential meal - what with the man's ability to eat as quietly as a trainwreck.

It was a simple enough plan, really. With Gajeel "distracting" the guard golems in the back yard, it left the rest of the perimeter open for Cobra to melt the locks on the front door and walk in.

The artifact was right where he had heard it was, on a pedestal in the study on the second floor. The room was dark, but he didn't need to see anything to complete this job. However something did catch his attention - a soft, magical hum coming from the object. Carefully, Cobra turned on one of the desk lamps and saw why.

The artifact they were supposed to retrieve was a small statuette of a diawolf, made from a white lacrimia-like material. Every detail was perfectly chiseled as if the statuette were grown rather than crafted, and the faint hum seemed to grow into a shrill whistle the closer Cobra got.

A bit too close, in fact.

The whistle built to a crescendo and ended in a deafening crash as a portion of the ceiling broke inwards under the weight of a flying Gajeel. He bounced off the floor and rolled to a stop just before the desk, forcing Cobra to side-step to avoid him. His grin stretched from ear to ear as he stood to dust himself off and dropped his new trophy, a watermelon-sized stone head shorn from one of the sentry golems.

"Oy, Slitherfuck, I found the thing!" Gajeel shouted, gesturing proudly at the statuette that sat between them.

Cobra's narrow violet eyes became almost slits as he half-glared at Gajeel. "Fan-fucking-tastic," he replied dryly. Before Cobra could spit any other comments, he froze briefly - a look of realization coming to his face. He swiped the diawolf statuette off the desk before bolting for the door. "You're on your own, loser!"

Several of the golems that Gajeel hadn't beheaded came crashing in through the large windows, their magic-fueled eyes burning a sinister red.

"Well, shit," Gajeel spat. He was out the door only moments before a giant stone fist saw fit to reduce the desk beside him to splinters.

Gajeel caught up to his partner after only a few minutes of slogging through underbrush - it really wasn't hard at all to track someone who smelled of bleach and leather, after all.

"Remind me to rip up all the weeds and shit around my house when we're done here, I'm getting sick of plants," he grumbled as he pulled up behind Cobra. "You even know where we're going?"

"Of course I do, we're going to the client's to return this damn statue," the redhead spat back at the straggler, holding up their stolen prize.

* * *

Little did either of the dragons know their hard work would be rewarded with the penalty of reduced pay, due to property damage. Cobra had some idea of the reduction, he could hear that news of a destroyed mansion had reached Lord Taillefer.

Still, even with that news, Cobra seemed oddly... calm; almost smug. Reduced pay should have sent his temper boiling over the edge, but instead he strolled along with his cut of the Jewel in hand.

Gajeel, on the other hand, was pissed beyond belief. He stomped along behind Cobra as if the ground itself denied him his prize, glaring at his boots the whole way. "And another thing, you give up way too easily!" Gajeel said suddenly, continuing a long-lost conversation. "We needed that cash, you know! And who the hell does that guy think he is with his poofy-ass pants and pink fedoras, huh?" The string of vitriol quickly descended into incoherent grumbling as Gajeel again lost track of his argument.

"Relax, moron," Cobra replied, pocketing his cash. "We'll be back in a month or so for a monster slaying job." His words were very assured of that fact.

Aside from the iron dragon's occasional outburst, the two walked on in almost-comfortable silence. They could return at least partially successful from their very first mission together and prove their worth to the guild.

At least Fairy Tail didn't destroy the _client's_ house this time.


	4. Team Bonding

_"For dragons, there is no set mating season. Specific criteria must first be met: a dragon must be of mating age, be able to fend off rivals, and they must be around dragons who are also considered to be of mating age. "_ ~ Dragon Historia, pg 21

 **Chapter Four: Team Bonding**

If Gajeel could melt into the woodwork and disappear at will, he would take the opportunity to completely ignore that ability and punch this bitch in the face. Their return should have been victorious, but instead the two Dragonslayers were treated to a lengthy lecture about property destruction, responsibility, and timeliness. Erza had plenty of time to prepare her speech, too; Cobra and Gajeel elected to walk back to Magnolia rather than take the train resulting in a delay of a few days.

"Fairy Tail has enough trouble keeping out of trouble with the Council without you two blowing up clients," the exquip mage said sternly, waving a Sorceror Weekly bearing the wreckage of a destroyed cliffside manor at Gajeel and Cobra. "If you're going to destroy someone else's home before returning, you might as well not come home at all."

"At least we ain't as bad as Salamander's crew..." Gajeel muttered, earning himself a vicious glare. Erza easily sailed past his interruption, however, and continued by waving a new job request in Cobra's face.

"Lord Taillefer, your client's mansion has been devastated. The roof was shorn clear off, there's not a single stone left unturned, and now there's a monster running amok in those fields - chasing down bystanders! What have you to say for yourselves?" Erza scolded, pinning Cobra with a dreadful glare.

The other redhead was unphased by the woman's war-laden words. In fact Cobra stood there, a bored expression painted on his flat face. He would have loved nothing more than to look up at Erza's stern face and tell her to piss off. Instead he turned that emotion inwards on himself, a smarmy smirk spreading across his own face. Setting off the slightly taller woman would do him no good; not here, not now. "I know you know that the mansion wasn't us," he finally said. "You've fought me before, you know how I fight. I like to see shit rot and die - blowing things up isn't my usual M.O. You know _I_ wouldn't fuck up like that, and you know I wouldn't let numbnuts over here do it either. I can _hear_ -"

"Yes, I know you can _hear_ things," Erza cut him off, obviously tired of the Dragonslayer's line. She held up her hand to cut Gajeel off before he could even open his mouth. "And I know there were 'complications' with security golems-"

 _You just really like to look like the scolding motherly type._ Cobra sighed.

"- That's what happens when you get involved in the black market. Your client must have aggravated someone important; he's gone missing, and his home was the first hit by that beast. Our job is to stop the monster and find Lord Taillefer. Now, I don't expect you to get along-"

"Whoa, hold up!" Gajeel butted in, confusion creasing his brow. "What do you mean, 'our' job? The fuck are you, some sorta babysitter?"

Cobra held up a hand, also interjecting. "Weirdly, I'm with freak-face over here on this one," he jutted a thumb at Gajeel. "I'll tolerate teaming up with you, but him _and_ you, at once?"

"Cobra, your 'knowledge' of the black market and crime underworld will be useful," Erza stated factually. "And Gajeel- Well," her voice trailed, "I assigned you two together as a probationary team!" She straightened herself, confident that she had covered her bases.

Before Gajeel could work out how exactly this was an insult Erza had already made her way to the door, dragging both Dragonslayers by their wrists.

* * *

One train ride and a thoroughly disgruntled Gajeel later, and they were right back where they came from.

The trio was deposited at a station beside a meagerly populated village, behind which sat a forested hillock. At least, formerly forested. A huge swathe of trees lay uprooted across the hill, leading to the ruins of a stately mansion. Closer at hand, bits and pieces of various buildings had been ripped up and thrown clear across town. Even as the Fairies stepped into the street, masses of civilians hustled past them to board the train, panicked children and half-packed suitcases in tow.

"What, did we already miss the party?" Gajeel asked. His nose twitched as the scent of unfamiliar wet fur wafted past, mixed with the dust and despair that trailed off past the city limits. "Looks like we just missed our mark."

"Then the beast was just here," Erza nodded. "Cobra, can you hear anything?"

There was no reply.

Erza turned back to the station platform. "Cobra?"

"I don't know, _can_ I hear anything?" Cobra shrugged, stepping off the platform with a stretch. "Y'know, I could've sworn I _heard_ someone was getting tired of my 'hearing things'"

The Fairy Queen shot the Demon General a look that was only meant to drive home the fact that he wasn't the one with senior authority here. _You dare challenge me?_ her inner voice sounded. And the Demon General's bored return of the look showed how many fucks he gave about such a thing. The meeting of defiant glances went on in silence for a second, before, finally, Cobra rolled his eyes.

"Two klicks out of town, north by north-west," he said. "It sounds like it's fast and very good at jumping."

Oblivious to the duel of the egos, Gajeel took a few steps in the direction Cobra pointed, sniffing as he went. "Smells like ass. The thing didn't leave long ago, if we run... Well, we could probably catch up when it gets tired and takes a nap. That is, unless you don't mind being left behind, Your Majesty." A toothy grin stretched across Gajeel's face, and he cocked his head back at the poison dragon. "The two of us could make it in no time without all that armor holding us back."

"Watch your tongue," Titania warned Kurogane.

Cobra frowned, then looked off into the distance. His left ear twitched. "One and a half klicks out. _North_."

Erza nodded, her focus off of smacking Gajeel, taking that information in. "So it's circling back towards the town. We can scout up ahead and set a trap for it."

* * *

Cobra gave a short sigh through his flat nose, but said nothing as he walked down the ruined street. He only smirked lightly. There wasn't any way to simply set a trap for this monster, and he knew it. It was a Diawolf. They were, as he had said, good at being very fast and jumping very high. They could surprise it, but not much beyond that. His own amusement aside, he was waiting for the monster to show up and was playing the part of bait. At first he'd been insulted by the idea; then he came to accept it.

What better bait for a monster than someone who looked injured? A one-armed guy his size would certainly look like an easy meal.

Atop opposite roofs lining the street Cobra strode upon, Gajeel and Erza hurried into place. They each took position fifty feet in front of Cobra, hidden in holes in the architecture. Erza stood ready, eyes on the horizon, while Gajeel prepared several spring-loaded spikes to trip up the monster on arrival.

Judging by the size of what looked like footprints that engulfed entire roads, the iron dragon doubted anything they held could keep the monster contained. Still, humoring Titania would be worth it to see her frustration when her plan fell down around her.

It took only minutes for the distant sound of rumbling to grow nearer, steadily approaching as the treeline on the horizon started to shudder and bend beneath an awesome force. When the last tree buckled and kneeled, a massive furred figure emerged from the woods. At first it stood and surveyed the land before it, then when satisfied it charged upon the town, closing the intervening miles by leaps and bounds.

It finally stopped in a side-street, sending up a cloud of dust as it landed. A low growl permeated the air.

Cobra covered one of his ears with his good hand, trying to lessen the noise. The creature was going to attack from behind, so he didn't turn around when the shadow fell over the ruined cobble.

From their perches, Gajeel and Erza had a view of the monster at the end of the street. Massive, with white fur, lanky appendages, and a smushed face akin to a wolf and bat. Its body was incredibly thin and slobber escaped its mangled excuse for jaws. When it stepped, the ground shook.

Gajeel could feel the structure shifting beneath him as the beast neared. He braced himself, keenly aware of the building's instability, of how any sudden movement or loose shingle could give away his location. Fortunately the monster's full attention was on Cobra.

It did not notice the brief flash of light as Erza requipped her Black Wing Armor, nor the glint of steel as Gajeel readied his scales.

It did, however, notice the quiet shish as scores of steel spikes sprung from all around its feet and closed inwards.

But the monster was not there when the spikes met in the middle of the road.

Erza swore under her breath and leapt out from her hiding place, sword in hand and armored wings spread behind her. "Where has it gone?" she shouted, fruitlessly scanning the rooftops around them. How could something that large just disappear? "Cobra, report!" But just as the order left her lips, it was no longer necessary.

A massive cloud of dust was kicked up by the shaking earth when the beast landed in front of the poison dragon. Cobra dove out of the way, rolling onto his feet as the monster again jumped skywards. Ears perking, he called out: "It's coming over to you, Scarlet!"

The earth shook, but that didn't deter the Fairy Queen from swinging her blades at the monster's heels. It dodged quickly, streaking around a ruined building and launching into the air again.

"Gajeel, he's coming to you!" Cobra called.

Rather than dodge or even attempt to move out of the way, Gajeel planted himself firmly in the middle of the road. His stance wide, steel scales skittered across his body, encasing him in thick armor. He clapped his hands together above his head, sending a razor-sharp column of steel shooting five feet in the air which coalesced moments later into a large blade that encompassed both of his arms.

"Got it!" Gajeel shouted back with a smug grin, just before the monster fell out of the sky. It landed right on target and let out wild howl as its front paw impaled itself on the iron dragon's blade.

"Move in, now- Woah!" Gajeel's command was cut off when the monster lifted its bloody foot, pulling Gajeel with it. With a forceful swing the beast freed itself and sent the iron dragon slayer crashing into the street a few blocks away. It grunted as it set the injured foot back down and turned its attention back on Cobra.

It was _thinking_.

"Shit." Cobra's eyes widened and he dodged another blow. So the thing still had enough smarts to know it was him calling out its movements? Even with his ears telling him when and where to go, it was hard matching the creature's fast movements. Even harder with one arm out of commission. The creature let out a howl and forced Cobra to try to cover his sensitive ears, wincing from the harsh noise. But that slight pause was all that was needed for the monster to scoop up the Dragonslayer in one of its clawed hands.

And then it popped Cobra into its wide bloody maw and swallowed him whole, letting out a victoriously mangled howling roar.

"Cobra!" Erza shouted, seconds too late. Regardless of Cobra's past affiliations, one teammate lost was one too many. Erza braced herself and charged at the beast with deadly intent, fully prepared to shift course should it jump again. However, the beast's bum paw kept it grounded.

By the time Gajeel made it back, Erza and the beast were locked in a standoff, Titania's swords matched by the beast's scythe-like claws. There was no sign of Cobra, only a smug monster toying with their teammate. "Where'd that little shit get off to...?" he muttered as he scanned the surrounding area. If Titania's cockiness were anything to go by she could handle the monster herself, but it would all be on Gajeel if he let something happen to his probationary teammate.

"Gajeel, get over here!"

"Fuck," Gajeel swore loudly and summoned his blade arm before diving into the fray. They could find Cobra after they dealt with the monster.

Between the two Fairies, the monster found itself pushed into a corner. It was growing desperate, enraged, its attacks more frenzied. The cuts and gashes were beginning to stack up, but its stamina only seemed to increase. That was, until it froze mid-attack - its eyes widening as it let out an agonizing shriek.

Erza took that moment to slice her blade into the side of the monster's heel, severing a tendon and sending the giant beast toppling backwards.

Dust flew up on impact and all that remained were the sounds of its pained growls and yelps that echoed across the ruined town. Slowly the dust settled, dying down with the noises of the creature, leaving only the sight of the Fairies' quarry laid out on its back, its tongue lolling out of its mouth as sickly gurgles escaped it.

The monster finally quieting, Erza surveyed the still corpse. "It's dead," she stated, taking a step closer to the body and prodding it with her sword's tip to make sure.

Suspicious, Gajeel followed suit and kicked the thing's thigh. "Hell, if it woulda been that easy, we didn't need you babysitting us," Gajeel said. "And where the hell did Cobra go, anyway. You lose sight of him?"

"Gajeel, he's-"

A sudden gurgling and the onset of a rancid stench cut Erza off. Both remaining Fairies jumped back from the corpse, weapons at the ready, but the beast did not wake. Its stomach, now bloated and stretched thin, rose and quivered, then split open with a sickening pop. A red steam rose from the belly of the beast, followed by a clawed hand grasping at the sky for freedom.

The hand grappled aimlessly at the air for a few seconds before sinking claws down into the outer flesh of the creature, Cobra pulling himself half-way out before stopping to gasp for breath. He was shirtless, covered in blood and who knew what else, and his skin was littered with scales. Having his fill of fresh air he wriggled his way out, sliding out of the corpse and onto the ground with a wet plop.

"...In the monster's stomach," Erza finished, covering up her surprise at the poison dragon's return with a cough.

Gajeel, however, wasn't so calm. An oddly misplaced relief flooded him, and he masked it the only way he knew how. "You- The fuck you doin' in there? We were supposed to be fighting that piece of shit, not taking it out on a dinner date!" he growled, but his agitation was short-lived. The stench of bile and acid wafted out just after Cobra and hit Gajeel full in the face. He clutched at his nose and reeled back, trying desperately to fan the scent away from himself. "The hell, you smell like you crapped yourself!"

Cobra shakily got to his feet, the monster's innard juices and what was left of his clothing, sans his red leather pants, dissolving away on his dragon scales. He grappled his heavily scarred shoulder, his scales finally receding back into his smooth chestnut skin. "Not another fucking word," Cobra hissed at Gajeel, ushering the end of that feces-based discussion before it started. All he wanted to do now was take a shower and put a shirt on, he felt terribly exposed.

But Erza held out her hand, signaling for them to both stop. "The mystery of where you were is solved. But no one's going anywhere until we figure out what happened to Lord Taillefer and why this beast was here."

"Titania," Cobra half-growled, "Taillefer is dead."

"You heard him?"

"Better yet," Cobra gave a wide, teetering grin and motioned back to the monster with a nod of his head, "I just crawled out of his guts."

"Now is not the time to be funny, Cobra," Erza warned. Lacking the patience to deal with an unruly Dragonslayer, she elbowed her way past Cobra. "If you will not remain professional until the job is complete, then I-"

But she stopped dead in her tracks, all chastising thoughts chases away by the sight before her. The monster was missing. In its place lay the lifeless body of Lord Taillefer, covered in all the same cuts and gashes and laying in a pool of blood. The body was utterly naked, and its rigid hands clung to a small statuette; the very same object Taillefer sent Cobra and Gajeel to recover days before. Erza knelt by Taillefer's corpse and pressed her thumb to his neck. When there was no pulse to be felt, she passed her hand over his eyes, pulling his eyelids shut.

"Heh, looks like he had some pretty shit luck," Gajeel said as Erza rose to her feet. "Guess he won't be calling us back.

"Gajeel, Cobra, there's a hotel the next town over. Wait for me there," Erza ordered, dismissing Gajeel's comment. "I will take care of the body and inform the mayor."

Gajeel went to interject: "But-"

" _Now_."

* * *

He'd lost track of his teammates, but Gajeel was glad to be back at the guild. It was quieter than usual, with less noisy assholes milling about. Even the jumbled mass of tables and upturned chairs was straightened into an orderly line leading to a stately gold throne at the head of the hall. Gajeel found the addition of a throne mildly perplexing, but the confusion soon passed; clearly the Fairies had heard of his victory against the Diawolf and had it installed in his honor. His ego bolstered, Gajeel strutted up the aisle and took his seat on the throne of gold.

Before the iron dragon could really get settled, Natsu approached bearing his usual shit-eating smile and a platter of gold and silver chains.

"The fuck do you want, Salamander?" Gajeel said by way of greeting, throwing in a nasty glare for good measure.

"We heard how you kicked that monster's ass, so I brought you a snack!" Natsu replied, brimming with excitement.

Gajeel scrutinized the mouthwatering display, not entirely convinced. It wasn't like Natsu to admit someone's greatness without first demanding a fight, but that was one damn impressive meal...

Perhaps noticing Gajeel's hesitation, Natsu held the platter out in front of him. "Eat it all up so you can be at full energy, I want to see first-hand how you took down that beast!"

Food _and_ punching Salamander in the face? Now that was more like it! Gajeel grabbed a handful of the chains and shoved it in his mouth. He sat back as he chewed noisily, content with his lot in life. The alpha dragon, catered to by his lessers, with a superbly comfortable and entirely edible throne to call home.

While Gajeel was busy lording it up, the hall's front doors slammed open and in walked Cobra. The poison dragon was just as shirtless and just as grumpy as when he'd fallen out of Lord Taillefer's stomach, though his bum arm seemed to have healed up nicely. He strode up the aisle with purpose in his gait, utterly oblivious to the lack of chaos about him. When he reached Gajeel's throne, Cobra batted Natsu out of the way and took his place in front of the iron dragon, arms crossed over his bare chest.

Gajeel would have been irked at the sound of so many delicious necklaces clattering across the floor, but he found the display in front of him more welcome and distracting. "Lose your way, Slitherfuck?"

No sooner had the words left Gajeel's mouth did Cobra come closer, crossing the short distance between them with a few fast strides and sliding into a straddle across the iron dragon's lap. He pressed his half-naked body up flush against Gajeel and wrapped his arms around the back of the Fairy Dragon King's neck, locking lips with Gajeel in a hungry kiss. When he finally pulled away, Cobra locked eyes with Gajeel and breathed lowly: "Welcome back."

For his part, Gajeel was far too surprised to react until the kiss was broken.

What in the world had just happened?

Was Cobra trying to poison him with some new mouth-to-mouth venom?

And why were his hands wandering so willingly down Cobra's back? Rather than question it, Gajeel allowed his hands to roam across taut muscles and across the hem of unwanted pants.

* * *

He awoke to find his hands stuffed down his own pants, bedsheets tangled around his legs.

"Whuh? Where's the food?" Gajeel murmured. He cast a bleary eye around the room to find he was still in the hotel, waiting on Erza. Cobra wasn't even back from his shower yet, Gajeel could still smell the wafting scent of monster barf and the sound of running water coming from the bathroom.

Cobra. Gajeel had that alpha dream before, it was by far his favorite, but he had never seen Cobra in it. It left him more confused than anything.

* * *

 **Authors' Note:** We, the authors, (Jeely and LilyKotsu), would like to thank you guys for your patience as we cranked out this chapter! We hope you enjoyed it and continue reading~! (For those curious, the Diawolf is a creature from one of Hiro Mashima's previous works, _Monster Soul_. He's referenced it a few times in _Fairy Tail._ :3)


	5. Stroll

_"Each breed of dragon has a scent unique to their element, and individual dragons have scents unique to their territories... During a mating season a dragon may expect to track down a potential mate by tracking their smell."_ ~ Dragon Historia, pg 4 + 22

 **Chapter Five: Stroll**

Warmth. Comfort, taut excitement, and warmth.

Not the kind of warmth of the sun or that of sitting too long by a fire, but the warmth of a tightly-wrapped blanket and a close embrace. It wasn't a warmth Gajeel was used to, but it flooded his every nerve. The tightness he felt also began to spread from his core out to his fingers, skittering its way across his scalp and down the back of his neck; but then, it wasn't the rush of fear or adrenaline that he was accustomed to.

Gajeel opened his eyes, no longer content to revel in the rush of sensation. The guild hall spread out before him, as orderly as he usually imagined it. Fairies flocked about, most minding their own business, while those he lorded over knelt before his throne with platters of gold and silver held above them.

He looked down to survey his wealth, but his attention was caught by a mess of red hair in his lap. Cobra kneeled before him, his head nestled between Gajeel's legs, the half-naked poison dragon fully engrossed in his duties. Cobra's head bobbed slowly up and down in a smooth swing, and Gajeel saw himself between Cobra's lips.

Cobra looked up at Gajeel with a full mouth, violet glance meeting red, before sliding the iron dragon's rod out with a soft wet pop. He began to lift it up slightly and started to lick the base, fangs exposed as he let his tongue trail up the shaft and lap the head - not once breaking eye contact.

The Alpha's breath stuck in his throat when he realized the position he was in. The warmth he felt suddenly made sense and coalesced into a burning heat in his loins. Gajeel saw his fingers thread themselves through Cobra's hair and gently guide the redhead, pressing and pulling faster, deeper, holding him longer. Lines of drool streaked Gajeel's skin, chill in the cool air for the few seconds his flesh was exposed, before Cobra's mouth again descended to wrap him in a fervid embrace.

It was too much. Gajeel closed his eyes and pulled Cobra's face flush against his groin, both his hands knotted in crimson locks. His stomach clenched, the heat overtook him...

* * *

... and he woke with a start.

Gajeel was in the guild, face-down on a rickety table in a puddle of his own drool. A drunken brawl swirled around him, chairs and obscenities and cats flying through the air. No one noticed him wake, nor did they seem to realize he had even slept. How he could have drifted off was even beyond him, considering the noise itself was enough to wake the dead. The iron dragon pressed his palms to his eyes to chase away the last vestiges of his unbidden dream. This marked the second time his favorite fantasy had been marred by his partner, though this time around he couldn't help but wonder how the dream might have finished.

Hopefully with him finishing, for once.

When the green spots behind his eyelids finally burned away the images he woke with, Gajeel let his hands drop. He surveyed the guild, looking for anyone or anything he could fight to take his mind off that fantasy, but his search was cut short when he saw the front door open.

In walked Cobra with that short, purple-haired bar chick in tow. They chatted amiably, the poison dragon looking far more warm and trusting than his usual venomous demeanor, and more the peaceful gaiety of two long-time friends. They then glanced at the ruckus and brawl, with Cobra shaking his head at it, before she made her way over to the bar. Cobra offered a wave goodbye and even smiled, which seemed such a foreign gesture that even from the distance Gajeel was at the expression seemed extremely awkward on Cobra. Sickeningly awkward, but Gajeel would be damned if it wasn't kinda cute.

Bar-fly or no, Gajeel needed some air. The frustration and confusion cloyed his mind, rendered him incapable even of formulating his favorite insults. He stood and rushed for the door, roughly pushing past Cobra with only a bitter glare for greeting.

Maybe a walk would clear his head.

* * *

He had been on edge far more than usual lately. While he normally had a distaste for Old Style breeds, Cobra found himself feeling particularly more combative towards the guild's more established Dragonslayers... that little girl Wendy excluded. His probationary teammate could use a swift kick in the skull, and it seemed that every which way Cobra turned there was Natsu - screeching "FIGHT ME" at the top of his lungs with a stupid grin on his face. But since the redhead was trying to avoid jail, that left him only to bury his instincts and seethe in his own anger.

It was becoming more and more difficult without his beloved Cuberos.

He could ignore his baser instincts, he'd been trained to do that since he was a child and it came almost second nature to him sometimes. But without Cuberos, without his snake, without that mental link to another living being whom he could pour out all his unwanted emotions into, he felt trapped by it. It felt like his poison was eating him from the inside out.

It was weird, the first time he had felt it. It was like a little flicker of light had gone off inside his head, and for a few seconds afterwards he felt better. Back to feeling like he wasn't alone in a sea of imbeciles. It didn't take long for him to figure out that it happened most near the bar, and usually during shifts that purple-haired girl was working. Did he like her? Cobra wasn't sure. He didn't think he liked her; he wasn't good with understanding his own emotions, or at least the ones he was trained not to need. But this girl... it felt like he'd known her his whole life.

And when he overheard Mirajane talking to her one afternoon - it clicked.

"Kinana Cuberos," Cobra said, leaning against the back of the deck chair. He idly played with the straw in his drink, though he did not remove the glass from the cafe table. "Didn't stray much from that name, huh."

"It was the only name I could remember," Kinana replied sheepishly into her own cup, sipping on iced tea. "So... it was what I went by when I came here..." Jade eyes looking down into her drink; Cobra could hear she didn't remember much.

"You don't... you don't have to feel like you _have_ to talk to me, if you don't want to," he paused, "Just... knowing you're okay, it means a whole lot more than you know." He went to lean his elbow on the table, ultimately deciding against the movement when his arm burned with pain; he might have been out of the sling, but he didn't have full movement yet.

Kinana looked up at him. "I just feel like I'm meeting my long lost brother-kina," she offered a smile. "So, tell me all you can about yourself-kina."

"Like what?"

"Well-kina," she tapped a finger on her chin, "What do you go by now? I know it's not Eri-"

"Please," Cobra interjected before she could finish uttering that name, "Call me 'Cobra' now. _Please_."

"Your name bothers that much-kina?"

Cobra drew in a breath and held it for a moment before sighing. "Yes."

"Okay then, Cobra it is, Cobra-nii," Kinana again smiled. He could hear that she was opening up more, and he could feel that old link in his head again. "Is it 'nii', how old are you?"

"Seventeen, I think," he replied, folding his arms over his chest. He really wasn't sure; he didn't remember his own birthday and even if he did he wouldn't dare make a celebration out of it.

"Ah, well then do you mind if I still call you 'nii'-kina?" Kinana asked, swirling her straw in her drink. "I think I'm twenty-kina..."

Across town, the bells of Cardia Cathedral chimed; low tones and soft high chimes mixing together to announce the time of day to the residents of Magnolia. It was midday, so the chorus lasted a whole two minutes long with twelve loud rings of the largest bell. Cobra shifted uncomfortably, his eyes clenched shut as he tolerated the noise.

"I should be getting back to work, the lunch rush is due soon-kina..." Kinana then looked to Cobra again, noting his discomfort. "Are you okay? Were the bells too loud-kina?"

"The bells were fine," Cobra shook his head and offered a small smile. "I should be used to them by now."

Kinana got up, grabbing Cobra's drink as she did so. "That's terrible that you can't turn off your ears or something-kina."

"Kinda hard to turn off an inherited magic."

"Those are the kind of magics that get passed down from your parents, right-kina? I'm still so new to understanding the whole magic world," Kinana headed for doors, with Cobra rising to follow after her.

Inside the guild was an expected chaos, loud shouting with the occasional crack of breaking furniture and glass. Another guild-wide brawl had started.

"I think I preferred the bells," Cobra muttered dryly.

"But you _knew_ it was coming-kina," Kinana teased. "I'll see you later, Cobra-nii. I have dishes to take care of-kina."

"See you," he smiled and waved... just before being shouldered aside by Gajeel. Who from all the cacophony around, was blasting an inner voice of irate and unfounded jealousy and smelled of musk and sweat. Cobra was jostled by the brute and a low hiss escaped him, primal and animal-like - his good mood thrown off.

What the fuck was that moron's problem _now_.

* * *

What the fuck _was_ that asshole's problem, anyway? Gajeel couldn't figure it out, and he wasn't sure he wanted to.

They were only teammates, and hardly even that; once the probationary period was over, Gajeel never had to interact with that asshole again. Yet the more he thought about it, the less Gajeel wanted the team to break up. He couldn't get Cobra's damn scent out of his nose. Alluring was the only word for it.

The iron dragon took to the streets in the hopes of clearing his head. Hands shoved firmly in his pockets, he stalked the streets and alleys of Magnolia until the chill of night sought him out. Metallicana had told him this would happen one day. As much as he couldn't stand the thought of it, it was the only thing that resembled a rational explanation.

Gajeel needed a cold shower, and a stiff drink. Maybe dear ol' fucking dad was wrong and this would all blow over by morning.


	6. A Friendly Chat

_"Dragons have the unique ability to breed with other species. Historically known cross-breedings have occurred with Human, Elven, and Demon races. The resulting hybrids are known as Dragonkin, who are equally renowned as Dragonslayers."_ ~ Dragon Historia, pg 98

 **Chapter Six: A Friendly Chat**

There were things, ever so rare as they were, that surprised him when they reached his ears. These things made him afraid, made him angry, or some strange combination of the two.

One such thing had caught his attention, and had simply made him angry.

And so Cobra lay in wait, just outside of the guild's front gates, leaning back against the stone wall with arms folded and mood sour. No one talked to him on their way by; if they bothered to glance at him, he either responded with an annoyed look or simply glared. Though he had only been there a month and was not usually one to socialize, many Fairies could safely hazard a guess of what would happen if one messed with Cobra's temper.

 _3..._

He could _hear_ his target exiting the guild hall.

 _2..._

The target was almost to the gates. He could _hear_ that the target could smell him.

 _1..._

Cobra grabbed the side of the golden gate, swinging himself around with an agile form... and kicked Gajeel right in his unsuspecting face. The iron dragon knocked back into the courtyard, the poison dragon glowered over him - not pleased in the least bit.

"Stay the fuck away from her, jackass," Cobra hissed, defined fangs exposed.

The glare Gajeel returned was dampened by the hand pinched to his nose to stem the flow of blood. "The fuck are you talking about?" he asked in a nasally growl. "There's quite a few 'hers' here ya know. I don't got that fancy-ass ear magic like you do."

"You've been tailing me and Kinana for the last two days!"

"...Oh." He'd thought he had been sneaky enough, but if the snake had heard about it, then there was no use lying to cover it up. "Right, that. Gimme a moment."

Gajeel took his hand off his bleeding nose and ripped a thin strip of cloth off the bottom of his ragged tunic, then rolled the strip into a tight wad. Satisfied with his makeshift plug, he promptly stuffed the rolled cloth up his nostril. The flow of blood seemed to abate.

"Alright, where were we?" Gajeel briefly considered making up some excuse, but knew that it wouldn't help anything. Besides, Cobra would know if he was lying anyway. "Yeah, I was tailing you. Never seen you friendly with anyone and that girl's been here longer'n you have. She's usually the one serving my drinks, too. Figured I'd see just what it was that made you tick outside of battle, so we could fight together better next time. Maybe we could go a job without one of us getting eaten, then."

Cobra folded his arms over his chest. "What I do when I'm not stuck with you is none of your damn business, scrap-breath." He stepped closer. "How I 'tick' outside of battle is also none of your damn business."

"It sure as hell is my business if my wage is on the line, shit-for-brains." Gajeel closed the distance between them and clenched his fists, ready for the fight that should be coming. Seconds from striking, however, he let out a deep breath and crossed his arms over his chest. "Look, I ain't here to fight. Do you seriously think you can pull off sticking around here all alone? Better me than some other dumb shit snooping around."

His ears perked and Cobra narrowed his eyes. "Why are you holding back, shark-nose?" His questioning of his teammate was cut short as he suddenly leaned to the side and stuck out his leg, his shoe landing right into a charging Natsu's face. "Speaking of dumb shits," he said, Cobra not moving his demanding gaze from Gajeel. "Get out of here, Natsu."

Natsu pulled himself away. "You guys were gonna fight, so I want in on it!" he pounded one of his fists into an open palm, flames erupting from the gesture as he grinned eagerly.

Cobra pulled his leg down to stand again. "I don't spar," he stated as he turned to face the fire dragon.

A deep, guttural growl sounded behind Cobra's ear. Gajeel thrust himself between the two mages, his careful posture from before melted away into something much more fierce and defensive. "Back off, Salamander," the iron dragon rumbled. "This one's _mine_."

The primal growl caught him off-guard and a fierce heat rose to Cobra's cheeks, a tingling sensation spreading through his body. He forced a scowl, trying to stave off the sudden blush. _Wh-why the hell am I blushing?!_

A confused frown overtook Natsu's features, his eyes flitting between Cobra and Gajeel. Normally Gajeel would share his fights with him, and he'd rarely seen the former Phantom so serious as of late. After a moment of brief consideration, Natsu's grin returned in full force. "Fine, but I get to fight the winner!"

Gajeel snorted, which then turned into an idle sniff. And then another. And then another. Something smelled _good._

Cobra turned to again wheel on Gajeel - only to pause, noting with surprise the slight tendrils of red smoke rising from under his shirt. In his effort to not blush, he hadn't noticed patches of his scales emerging! "F-forget it," he grumbled, the red painting his cheeks now from embarrassment at his lack of magical control. He roughly pushed past the iron dragon and headed for the guild, small tatters of clothing flaking off of him.

* * *

Fairy Tail had two locker rooms, a red one for the women and a blue one for the men. Each mage got their own locker, to store things like spare clothes or towels or other toiletries while they used the public showers or the saunas.

Thankfully the locker room was mostly empty, so no one noticed when Cobra came in wearing a rapidly dissolving shirt.

The only thing he had that was enchanted enough to withstand the corrosive acid of his dragon scales happened to be his red pants - so it was a good thing he usually kept a spares of other clothing and shoes in his locker. He hated showing skin in public places, locker rooms and showers were very much included on that list, so Cobra slid off his white coat and left it on the bench while he took to one of the toilet stalls to change.

He pulled off what was left of his black long-sleeved shirt, which was not much more than patches and threads. Taking a breath he attempted to calm the maroon and violet scales that littered his skin, a few more breaths being required before they obeyed him. Sure that he was in control of his magic again, he slid the clean, un-scathed shirt on.

That task done, he exited the stall and tossed his ruined garment into the trash.

* * *

Cobra was well gone before Gajeel made it inside to see what the hell was wrong. It had taken so long to shake Natsu off that Cobra's scent trail had grown cold.

The locker room was entirely empty, the mixed odors of soap and exhausted, sweaty mages filling the vacant space. Gajeel, frustrated and restless, plopped onto a log bench with a heavy thud. He could still smell the poison dragon amidst the concentrated stench of Fairies, agitated, and... something else. The same scent that enticed and confused Gajeel when Cobra fled. He couldn't place the scent, and the sauna steams had long since dispersed what remained of it.

In an effort to discover just what it was that captured his interest, Gajeel shut his eyes and took a deep breath, dissecting each scent around him in turn. He could tell Nab had been through here and Max before him - several times. Freed had passed through, perhaps an hour earlier, followed by a haze of cleansing chemicals and rosemary. Even the mild wood rot wafted over everyone else. Nearly every surface besides the trashcan fought to obscure Cobra's presence.

Wait, the trashchan? It was seldom used but for soap wrappers and the occasional empty shampoo bottle, but it smelled as if Cobra had jumped inside and hid there. Gajeel's eyes flitted open and he stood to stalk toward his prey. Slowly he craned over the trashcan, as if his quarry might jump out at him, only to find the tattered remnants of Cobra's clothes wadded up inside.

His disappointment only further frustrated Gajeel. What was he expecting, a rival in a pretty bow? A punch to the face? Whatever it was, it wasn't a pile of half-melted rags. But even that response seemed out of character for the reclusive Dragonslayer - Cobra was too much of a control freak to let one of Natsu's annoyances draw out his scales. Gajeel gingerly grabbed a fistful of the cloth and held it up to his nose, sniffing out any reason he could find.

All this guesswork just wasn't his style; Gajeel was much more used to dragging the answers out of people face to face. With the remains of Cobra's shirt in hand, Gajeel turned his back on the sauna and set out into the night. The crisp air of Magnolia's outskirts preserved scent much better, and it took no time at all for him to find the trail he needed.

Gajeel would knock at Cobra's door, and he knew he wouldn't leave until he had the answer he sought.

* * *

 **Authors' Note:** We've really been enjoying reading the comments you guys have left for us, they mean a lot! What's going to happen when Gajeel shows up at Cobra's in the middle of the night? Find out next time on _The Misdventures of Slitherfuck and Metalface_!


	7. First Time

_"... Young adult dragons of mating age may put on an elemental display of aggression towards rivals and even potential mates, signaling that they are in rut and are strong and viable candidates for mateship."_ ~ Dragon Historia, pg. 69

 **Chapter Seven: First Time**

It was a small bathroom, if it could be called that.

The shower poured down onto his head, the hot water relaxing his body while the water dulled his ears. Whispers and telling echoes became background noise and mumbles, faded out by the static-like sound of the shower on his skull. The world was a relieving steamy haze... if only for the time that Cobra was in the shower.

It was a small bathroom, of a... barely decent hotel room. He hadn't saved up enough to make a payment on a place of his own to rent yet; every place wanted first month's rent plus fees up front. Buying was out of the question. At first he'd briefly wondered if he could have just squatted at Oracion Castle; then he became insulted at the idea of squatting in a place that was once his home. The Council probably wasn't even done gutting the place, considering their usual dead snail pace.

He had gone from living in a castle to scraping by in a shitty hotel room.

He had to swallow his pride and take to doing things the shitty legal way, which included being paired with some shitty Old Style breed.

And after his magic had started acting up recently?

Another ten minutes in the shower sounded good.

 _Click._

Cobra opened his eyes, exhaustively annoyed by the sound that had disturbed him. He briefly debated writing it off as someone in another room, but his need to know the source of the sound compelled him to shut off the water. Doing so, he paused - listening.

Someone was in his room. Touching his stuff. He knew _exactly_ who it was.

"He's fucking dead," Cobra growled lowly, jumping out of the shower and quickly wrapping a towel around himself.

He threw open the bathroom door, to find Gajeel standing next to the bed, going through Cobra's tote and with Cobra's red pants in his hands.

"Don't you fucking dare," Cobra warned, baring his fangs.

Gajeel idly set the tote down when he heard the bathroom open, but he still held on to the pants. He looked Cobra over, raising a studded brow when he noticed the lack of clothing. Fresh, clean, and damp; complete with wet crimson locks hanging down into his face. The poison dragon carried hardly a trace of that maddening scent from earlier.

"The hell you showering for, didn't you already do that at the guild?" Gajeel asked, returning his attention to the pants. They had yet to be washed, and Gajeel was damned if he couldn't place the scent.

Cobra's frown drew out and he reached to snatch his pants away from the trespasser. "Give me those."

Spotting the approacher out of the corner of his eye, Gajeel held the pants high above his head and twisted around so he could keep an eye on Cobra. "That's not an answer, you ass."

"You're in _my_ room, Metalface, I don't have to give you _any_ answers!" He jumped to try and get at his clothes.

Gajeel took a step back and swung his arm down to hold the pants behind himself in a tight grip. He wouldn't give up his evidence that easily. "Technically it's the hotel's room. Maybe if you'd man up and talk like a grown-up instead of turning pink and running off, I wouldn't have to go snooping around. That lacrima shoved too far up your ass for you to even try fitting in?"

Cobra scowled and that same pink lightly tinged his dark cheeks. "What? Fit in with _you_? The guild outcast? At least I'm that way by choice, unlike you, you low-breed."

Gajeel bristled under the onslaught, but his rebuttal was cut short when he caught sight of the pink dusting on Cobra's cheeks. There it was again, a shadow of the scent he'd caught earlier...

He waited for Gajeel to flinch from that all-too-close string of insults before he reached out and finally snagged the leg of his pants. "Last thing I need is some fuckin' perv like _you_ stealing my clothes!"

The iron dragon yanked on the pants, in turn pulling Cobra closer to him, and uttered a low growl. "Outcast my ass, if you spent half as much time paying attention to your guild as you do pretending no one else exists then maybe you'd know better."

It wasn't any use for the smaller dragon to try to pull his clothes away, Gajeel was by far the more physically built one - Cobra's forte was agility and precision. Cobra locked eyes with Gajeel, his daring glare shooting through his wet hair. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't flood this room with paralyzing poison right now and throw your drugged ass out on the streets."

"Decency, I'd think?" Gajeel said with a smug grin. "Or is this the spat you were running away from when Natsu interrupted us right when we were getting somewhere? And I'd like to see you throwing me anywhere, twig."

"'Decency,' says the guy who's running around, sniffing my clothes," Cobra snorted, eyeing his melted shirt from earlier sticking out of Gajeel's pocket. "But you want decency? Fine. Please excuse me for asking in the most impolite of ways, Gajeel, but I would really love to know what the fuck your problem is."

"My problem's you not answering that same goddamn question, and _this_ ," Gajeel tugged at the pants again in a vague effort to indicate the scent that still clung to them. He trailed off then, suddenly at a loss for how exactly to describe it. He had Cobra's _pants_ ; Cobra wasn't wearing _pants_. Cobra's relative lack of clothing and his wet hair plastered across his face weren't doing anything to help clear Gajeel's head. The opposite, in fact. Cobra looked like a wet cat, a sexy wet cat.

Cobra's ears perked and his whole face reddened, he let go of his grip on his pants to try to cover his naked torso with both his arms. "Wh-why the hell are you lookin' at me like that," he hissed, backing up. He was going to kick himself later for charging out with only a towel on. "And why the hell do you think wet cats are sexy?!"

"Who said you were sexy? Shit, your ego's worse than Sparky's," Gajeel muttered, but after Cobra drew attention to himself something clicked in Gajeel's head. It wasn't as strong as before, but the scent that intrigued him earlier rose just as quickly as the blush in Cobra's cheeks, a heat that he could feel mirrored in his own face.

"I said _'cats'_! 'Wet cats'! Not me!" Cobra quickly pointed out.

"Yeah?" Gajeel snorted. "Well I didn't say anything about cats either, and you're the only wet thing here."

The poison dragon sneered, reminded that his only quiet time had been so graciously interrupted. "Give me my pants and get the hell out," he reached to seize his pants and take them away from Gajeel.

More out of habit now than anything, Gajeel held the pants further behind his back and leaned away from Cobra. "Not till you tell me why you're such a stuck-up shit."

"What's that even mean!? Just give them back already!"

He tried to push the iron idiot aside and make one last grab for his pants, but Gajeel had leaned too far back - and the two bickering Dragonslayers toppled onto Cobra's tote and the bed. Gajeel grunted when Cobra landed on top of him.

With the bag digging into his back and a wet redhead laying across his front, Gajeel figured there was no more sense in being polite. He swung his legs up and crossed his ankles over the small of Cobra's back, relying on his brute strength to hold the poison dragon in place. "I'll give your damn pants back when you quit fucking around and talk to me."

Cobra pressed his hands on the bed, thrashed his hips, and kicked his legs in an attempt to free himself, but Gajeel's legs were wrapped too tightly around him. "Talk about _what_?" he hissed, throwing a glare at Gajeel. He attempted to slide out next, only to feel his towel start to slip off in the process. Cobra's eyes went wide and he went to grab his towel, only to find Gajeel's legs in the way. If he blew a paralyzing breath at the iron dragon, they would both be stuck in the same position until the poison wore off. Cobra was trapped and almost naked. "Just let me get dressed. Then we'll talk, okay?"

Gajeel might have been open for negotiation on that offer, but all that thrashing rubbed a little too close to home. The urge to mimic those motions rose slowly in the back of his mind, and he tightened his grip if only to keep Cobra from distancing himself enough to see the flush coming over him. "What guarantee do I have you won't just drug me and run again?"

The look that came over Cobra's flat features was indeterminable, being part leer and part shock. Gajeel had guessed the outcome of his plan. Just as he was about to quip that he could release a deadly poison instead of one that simply paralyzed - he froze. Something was pressing against his body. He looked down to where their hips touched, but he could feel it through all the cloth.

Gajeel was getting _hard_.

The same tingling from when Gajeel had growled at Natsu swept through Cobra's body again, his vibrant scales started emerging, and Cobra was - for once - speechless.

Just as it started to sink in that his whole front was now damp from contact with Cobra's bare, dripping chest, Gajeel noticed the scales coming through on Cobra's skin. That could only mean the poison dragon was preparing for a fight.

With little effort Gajeel flipped the two of them over so that he straddled Cobra, pinning him to the bed, but then the overpowering smell of musk filled his nostrils. It was a heavy scent only slightly diluted by the dampness, and tinged with the sweet scent wafting off Cobra's scales.

Gajeel couldn't deny the effect it had on him; his own scales were starting to emerge in patches without his bidding, and the heat below his abdomen was demanding more and more of his attention. Maybe if he just sat for a minute, his blood would stop pumping and cobra would stop smelling so nice...

The blankets of the bed lightly hissed as they began to melt away from where his scales touched. The bed, his tote bag, his... towel; about the only thing that wasn't melting from his acid was the man pinning him.

His poison skin had no effect on those steel scales.

And the worst part was, Cobra was strangely relieved. He knew he should have been more angry and defensive and spit a wad of blinding venom right into Gajeel's face... but it was as if every bone in his body was content to lay there, like the dragon lacrima running through his veins was overriding his normally rational senses.

"Can I get dressed?" he asked one last time, though he already knew the answer. Gajeel's thoughts had become muddled to his ears, Cobra's ears didn't work on instincts. But the idea of those wild instincts and that needy scent in the air was arousing... _Dammit, Cobra, this isn't the time!_ his rational side tried again to remind him, and he shifted uncomfortably to get the weight off of his rising interest.

The only response Gajeel gave was a shallow, dry thrust in response to Cobra shifting beneath him. By now the iron dragon was too enraptured by the curve of Cobra's neck to explain himself further. He hardly noticed the sheets melting away from them, nor his own clothes singeing at the edges. The spot of flesh just above the dip of Cobra's left collarbone drew his attention; Gajeel pressed his nose beneath Cobra's ear and traced the soft skin until shoulder met neck.

Cobra clenched his eyes shut and balled his hands into fists, trying to detract from the sensitive sensation of Gajeel's nose so close to his ear.

The heady scent of acid was punctuated by a warm pulse, a rhythm of copper so unlike any other, Gajeel just had to have it. His lips parted and his tongue flitted out to taste the dip of Cobra's collarbone, savoring each second of contact.

The redhead wasn't sure why Gajeel was so fixated on that spot. But feeling a warm tongue on his damp, chilled skin only sent shivers through him; he hadn't noticed how cold he was before.

It was weird, and the thought that this was some kind of freaky dream briefly crossed his mind.

Were it a dream, Gajeel remembered none so vivid. Were it a dream, he may have skipped straight to acting on his urges.

In person, however, he had a different goal. Ever so lightly Gajeel sunk his teeth into the side of Cobra's neck. Flesh resisted, but didn't give. He slowly bit down harder until he could taste a small bruise forming as he ran his tongue across the sensitive skin.

A small part of him wondered just what drove him to do this, but the voice was drowned out by the knowledge that it felt so right.

Cobra's arms were still pinned, though he managed to slip one hand out from Gajeel's grip and attempt to push the larger man off of his tingling neck. It was no use as Gajeel just grunted and bit down harder. "What the hell are you, a vampire?"

It took a few seconds for the question to pierce Gajeel's clouded mind. He withdrew, his fangs lightly drazing the marked skin, and sat up while straddling Cobra to give him an unamused glare.

"Vampires don't exist, you jerk," he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "It's a thing dragons do."

"You wanna talk about something that's nonexistent; it's dragons that don't exist anymore, you fuckwit."

"Says the guy who believes in vampires. That doesn't even make sense." Gajeel tried to think of a better comeback, but gave up when he decided he had more pressing matters to attend to.

Namely, the bulge beneath Cobra's rapidly shrinking towel that he could feel pressing against his own clothed crotch. In fact, that appeared to be the only part of Cobra which was clothed at all.

Gajeel's eyes traced the curve and dip of Cobra's lithe stomach, and his fingers soon followed, tracing the edges of the splotchy scales that broke out along the poison dragon's skin. Soft white scales followed his fingers along Cobra's stomach, with maroon and violet scales spreading out along Cobra's sides.

It tingled like the spot on his neck, and the tingling spread through Cobra's body. Before he knew it all of his scales had been drawn out, a sensation that he had rarely felt before. But with his arms no longer pinned, Cobra grabbed Gajeel's wrists and held his hands immobile. The tingling stayed focused around Gajeel's metal fingertips. Not used to the feeling, Cobra then threw Gajeel's hands off.

Gajeel didn't mind at first that he didn't get to play with the little scales anymore, for now he had a more enticing view. But now his hands were free again, enough that he could plant his palms on either side of Cobra's head and lean forward to lick at the beautiful mark he'd made.

"The fuck's all this purple shit for, anyway? All you're gonna do is melt your bed. ...And my pants. I kinda needed those, you know."

"I could say the same about your tinfoil skin. And I know it wouldn't be the first time you ruined your clothes and had to streak home," Cobra quipped, pressing a clawed hand against the other's metal forehead and pushing him away from the tender spot.

But then Cobra and Gajeel were face-to-face. Something wasn't right, something in Cobra's mind told him to throw the red-eyed man off of him. _You hate being touched. Why are you letting him crawl all over you?_ But that thought was quickly buried under something else, something Cobra wasn't sure how to handle; and it was building inside of him, welling up the more he could feel Gajeel's breath on his face.

Suddenly, he lifted his head and planted a kiss on Gajeel's lips; it wasn't long, but it also wasn't short. Quickly letting his head fall back against the bed, his fierce blush could be seen coming through his scales. What in the underworld possessed him to do that?

The kiss took Gajeel off guard. He never expected Cobra to be so gentle. He studied the blush creeping across the poison dragon's cheeks, shifted his weight off one of his hands and brushed the tinted scales, then promptly pressed his mouth to Cobra's in a much hungrier kiss. When he pulled back seconds later, Gajeel returned to his usual scowl.

"You know, you really are pretty shit at kissing."

"I think your shark-nose almost poked out my eye."

"Yeah, well your dick's poking out my balls. Would ya move that damn thing already?"

"You're the one on top of _me_ ," Cobra replied, smirk spreading across his face. "I would've thought you'd like that kind of thing."

Gajeel had to stop and consider that one for a moment. Before he could decide whether or not it was an insult, he settled for another rough kiss. "Damn right, I _am_ on top," he growled between breathing breaks. "And I would be into _you_ if you'd move your damn legs."

Briefly Cobra tried to come up with some insult about how Gajeel tasted faintly like beer with some weird metallic aftertaste and needed breathmints, but any thought was stopped by another incoming kiss. When that kiss broke, he said: "Again, idiot, _you're_ the one _sitting_ on top of _me_."

...Right, Cobra was still pinned. Gajeel quickly pulled back, mostly to hide the embarrassed heat rising in his cheeks, and slid lower to free up Cobra's legs. He poked at his partner's thighs to tease them apart, but soon got distracted running his hands over Cobra's taut muscles. "Happy now, jerkwad?"

"No." He pulled up one of his knees and kicked Gajeel in the face; not enough to hurt, but enough to get the other man to stop sticking those cold metal fingers between his legs. Cobra crossed his arms over his chest and frowned. "Your fingers are like ice."

Gajeel swatted at the scaled foot in his face, sputtering indignantly. It didn't take long for him to get hold of the limb and slide it over his shoulder. "Ice? The fuck are you fantasizing about that stripper for when I'm right here?" At least now he had some good leverage. With Cobra's ankle pinned to the iron dragon's shoulder, Gajeel slowly moved forward so his crotch was flush against Cobra's thigh.

"Hell's bells, you're stupid," the poison dragon muttered, moving his arms down to his sides to steady their combined weight.

With Cobra was steadied, there was nothing stopping Gajeel from grinding against Cobra's rear to relieve his pent-up interest. Not too close, not yet, but he could size himself up against Cobra with the last scrap of cloth dissolved against acid scales. Cobra was a little longer, but Gajeel had much more girth. "Y'know, you don't look that bad yourself. Bit stiff there, eh?"

"Tch..." The poison dragon held his frown, turning his head away to avoid answering or looking at Gajeel. He was completely naked then, and Gajeel was going to be the same way - whether he took off his own clothes or simply let the rest dissolve.

Cobra glanced back to where Gajeel was grinding against him, just in time to see the front of the iron dragon's pants melt away and his rod rub bare between Cobra's legs. Shocked and flustered, Cobra jolted back in an attempt to distance himself.

Gajeel did not yet pursue, but instead took this opportunity to pull off the remnants of his tunic and pants, which fell apart in his hands, the edges still sizzling from prolonged contact with Cobra's scales. His bare stomach was covered in bright steel already discolored by the corroding acid. He took one more detour to kick off his boots before he crawled over Cobra, supporting himself on his hands and knees and leaving enough space between them to better appreciate Cobra's display. "Well? You ready?"

"I-I..." Cobra wanted to close his legs, but Gajeel had already set himself between them. He looked away, feeling his cheeks heat even more. Though he could _hear_ that Gajeel had experience with oral and he knew the basic things but... _It's his first time?!_ It certainly wasn't Cobra's; and the less time Cobra thought about _that_ , the better he'd be.

Still, Gajeel wasn't experienced and he was an idiot with a big mouth.

"Don't you dare tell anyone about this," Cobra said lowly, turning his narrow eyes back to Gajeel. He wasn't sure how he meant it; as a threat or as a warning. Cobra had a reputation to maintain, sure. But if the wrong person heard about their... intimate encounter... then Gajeel could be put in a lot of danger. Though somewhere in the back of his mind Cobra briefly wondered why he cared beyond protecting his own image and not going to jail.

"Not a soul," Gajeel responded with a smirk. He was tempted to protest just to give Cobra a hard time, but he had no reason to share the news nor anyone to share it with.

As it was he now had free access to his mate, a fact he immediately celebrated by running his hands over Cobra's chest. The acidic scales that had cropped up earlier were beginning to retreat, leaving behind smooth, chestnut skin that tensed beneath Gajeel's touch. His fingers came to rest over Cobra's nipples, around which he traced slow, gentle circles. The way the tiny nubs of flesh perked fascinated him, and he couldn't help but give one a light pinch.

Cobra's body shifted slightly under Gajeel's touch. "Quit tha-" his ears suddenly perked and a thoughtful yet suspicious look came to him "- ... Mate?" he quizzically demanded.

The demand went unheeded; Gajeel was too busy poking and pulling on Cobra's nipples. "Hm..?" He leaned down to lick one of the nubs. He wrapped his lips around it and carefully grazed his teeth over the protruding flesh.

Any further demands were caught in the back of Cobra's throat. His body shuddered and he almost automatically arched himself, only giving into the urge when the heat of Gajeel's rough tongue radiated into his chest. Arched back, he pressed his body closer to the man on top of him, which gave Gajeel a better angle to get at him.

Gajeel took hold of Cobra's hip with one hand and held the poison dragon to him. While he busied himself sucking at the redhead's nipples, his other hand wandered down Cobra's thigh and between his legs. He had the perfect angle for entry, but Gajeel wanted to draw this out longer. He slipped his wandering hand between them and traced circles around Cobra's puckering hole, teasing the entrance.

"Nn," Cobra held back a moan, not ready to let himself go that easily. Feeling Gajeel's fingers tease him, his body responded and his legs spread more. But when two thick, dry fingers tried to make their way in; Cobra jilted, trying to push Gajeel off of his chest. "Stop." It was a sharp command. "You don't know what you're doing." And Cobra' wasn't going to let the iron/virgin dragon go barging through his back door with no preparation.

The iron dragon pulled back as if scalded. "What- why? What's wrong?" Gajeel asked incredulously, resting his hands on Cobra's knees while he pinned the redhead with a petulant glare. "You're not getting cold feet now, are ya?"

Cobra slid away from Gajeel, inching towards one of the faux-wood end tables. He pulled the drawer open and fished around inside, withdrawing a tube and shoving it Gajeel's way. "You can't just..." He frowned, his face reddening again as he tried to find his words. "You can't do this... dry."

"Dry? The fuck are you-" Gajeel began to ask, but stopped when the tube was shoved in his face. He snatched it and turned it over in his hands; it was cold, partially used, and slightly greasy. When he twisted the cap off and a slippery gel oozed out, the gears in Gajeel's head finally started to grind.

Butts didn't work like girls did. They were sensitive, small, and lacked the lubrication women were known for. The iron dragon cracked into a grin, confident that he now knew exactly what he was doing, and plugged the nozzle right into Cobra. He gave it a good squeeze, squirting a thick dollop of lube straight up the redhead's ass.

 _"C-cold!"_ Cobra yelped, obviously not pleased by the icy lube that had just been shot up inside his hot bits.

That done, Gajeel pulled the tube out and discarded it, before taking up position between Cobra's legs and readying himself, dick poking right on target, and turned his grin on Cobra. "You ready now, Slitherfuck?"

The redhead lightly snorted. Gajeel had the nerve to go right back to knocking on his back door! Cobra jerked his legs, the feeling of just the tip of the steely dragonslayer dick making him feel agitated. "You don't know the first thing about what you're doing, you virgin." He took delight in the spluttering noise the other dragonslayer made and slid away from Gajeel. He fixed himself up against some of the pillows while positioning his body just right. Grabbing Gajeel by the wrist, Cobra guided his hand down - hoping it would be enough of a hint for the thick-headed iron dragon.

Before Gajeel could formulate an insult in retaliation, the insult was quickly forgotten in favor of exploration. Cobra's legs were spread wide and swiveled just enough to put himself on display. Gajeel slid his fingers around the base of Cobra's dick, beneath his balls, and down through the exposed crack. A small amount lube had leaked out to moisten Cobra's hole, enough that Gajeel was able to press one finger in.

The muscle was tight, but when lubricated it seemed to draw Gajeel straight in. He felt around, caressing every wall he could reach, and a few strokes later he felt the muscle relax enough for a second finger to slip in.

Gajeel's fingers were a little thick, and his hands were all around rough. When a third finger was added, Cobra squirmed and shifted his hips, a little too eager for further penetration. Gajeel kept the ministrations up for as long as he could, savoring every inch of contact, but Cobra's squirming soon broke Gajeel's patience. He withdrew his fingers with a wet pop as he crawled his way back up Cobra's torso. Any questions were silenced by a sudden possessive kiss. He was lined up, and he was ready. This time, Gajeel pressed in with ease while Cobra's mouth was occupied.

He couldn't help the small breath he let out as the iron dragon got deeper; Gajeel was thick, but he was thicker towards the middle of his cock. Cobra slid his body down the pillows, not breaking the kiss, so Gajeel had a better angle.

The shift was a pleasant surprise. Gajeel waited until he was fully seated, the entirety of his girth buried inside the poison dragon, before making his first move. He broke the kiss and gently nibbled his way down Cobra's chin, and at the same time pulled himself slowly out of Cobra until just his tip remained inside. His lips found the spot he marked earlier just as he thrust his full length back in, gradually building up a steady rhythm.

A warm tingling spread from the spot on Cobra's neck, it took a moment for him to feel anything but what was radiating from where Gajeel was biting down on him. Carefully, he wrapped his legs around Gajeel, guiding the other man's thrusts into an easier motion. Cobra let out a hitched breath, Gajeel giving in and settling into a comfortable movement.

It was completely unlike anything Gajeel had tried before and he found himself wanting more; more of Cobra's breathy moans, more of Cobra's tan flesh to nibble and kiss, more of everything. Each thrust was a delve into a heated caress, and the chill air of each pull only excited him further. But as his excitement grew, so too did his iron scales. Unbidden, an array of small steel bumps grew along his shaft; too small to be obstructive, but sizable enough to provide a smooth but noticeable texture.

Cobra picked his head up, not sure what was going on. "Wh- what are you- _AH-_ " What was going on? Did Gajeel's dick suddenly get... thicker? And bumpier? Well that was new. "Gajeel!" it was supposed to come out as an order to stop, but his tone melted away into a moan and he threw his head back again. Those bumps were sliding right against that spot inside. That really, really good spot. Repeatedly. Cobra's thighs loosened around Gajeel's waist as he reflexively spread his legs further - wanting more, wanting the other dragon to be deeper.

Gajeel slid his arms beneath Cobra's back and took firm hold of the poison dragon's shoulders to brace himself as the tempo of his thrusts increased.

The iron dragon couldn't hold out much longer.

His thrusts became more erratic, faster and shorter, small grunts escaping him with each turn. He buried himself deep within his mate and claimed Cobra's lips in a hungry kiss just before the pressure welling in his loins boiled over. It came in waves, hot semen gushing out every time his balls clenched. When the heat finally subsided, Gajeel pulled his wilting dick out into the cold air and let his head fall onto Cobra's shoulder. His breath was ragged as he lay there panting his relief.

Cobra, on the other hand, was less relieved. In fact, he wasn't relieved at all. He was getting so close, but Gajeel had come before he did. The asshole didn't even pull out! "Freakin' virgin," Cobra grumbled into Gajeel's ear. When Gajeel shakily lifted his head and gave a starry glare, Cobra pushed him off, rolling the iron dragon onto his back. With a swift and flexible movement he rolled with him, Cobra landing on top. He propped himself up on his knees, a pearly white substance dribbling down his inner thighs, and began stroking Gajeel's cock - trying to get him ready for another round. "You came. Now it's my turn."


	8. Departures

_"... when a perceived threat is present in a flight's territory, a dragon will stop at nothing to save its flightmates."_ ~ Dragon Historia, pg. 14

 **Chapter Eight: Departures**

Gajeel couldn't remember the last time he'd slept so soundly. His mind was rested, his limbs were tired as if he'd triumphed in a mighty battle the night before, and his bed held the warmth of a tenderly stoked forge. Daylight touched his eyes, filtered through a thinly curtained window. The gentle caress pulled him from his slumber and Gajeel greeted the day with a wide yawn.

Pleasant as it was, the iron dragon was not quite ready to wake; he rolled over and instinctively wrapped his arms around that which was the source of the bed's warmth. It took a few moments for him to realize his nose was pressed into the crook of someone's neck.

Gajeel sat up quickly, nearly kicking the half-melted sheets off the bed in his haste. There before him lay Cobra, naked and prone, slumbering peacefully. Asleep, Cobra didn't scowl or hiss or insult him; he slept with his cheek pressed up against the pillow and his mouth open a little.

 _What happened...?_ Cobra took a deep, yawning breath and rolled onto his back. He also felt an uncomfortable stickiness under his bottom, which was quite sore. _...Why do I feel so exhausted?_ He just wanted to sleep some more.

Gajeel's panic was encapsulated in only one thought: Oh shit, he's _cute_.

Cobra's ears perked, eyes snapping open and horror overtaking his flat features. It hit him. He was NAKED! He was in a BED! He was naked and in a bed! With GAJEEL! Three words he never thought would ever involve him at the same time: NAKED, BED, and GAJEEL!

" _WHAT THE FUCK?!_ " he half-screamed in a moment of panic and jerked himself out of reach, only to flop onto the floor. Clamoring for blankets, he yanked the sheet off the bed in an attempt to cover himself. "What the hell are you doing here!?"

"Tch, you're about as loud as Salamander in the morning, Slitherfuck," Gajeel chided, wincing slightly at the raised voice. Now that the bed was vacated, he followed suit and stepped out onto the floor, scratching at his bare stomach as he went. "And as far as I remember, I couldn't exactly leave when you were bouncing around on top of me. Would've been a bit rude, I'd think."

Utterly naked, Gajeel paid little heed to the poison dragon on the floor; he'd only get shrieked at again, anyway. He opted instead to search for something to cover himself with, but quickly gave up the pursuit when he found his clothes in tatters. Surely the hotel would have a spare robe somewhere, Gajeel resolved with a shrug. Thus assured he turned back to his host. "Y'know, I knew you were flexible and long-winded in battle and all, but I really didn't expect you to last that long. There some kinda training routine you're hiding from me?"

"Don't act so fucking casual," Cobra hissed. His face as red as his hair, he forced a scowl; which seemed ineffectual given the fact that he was wrapped up in the sheet like a cocoon. Bouncing around? There was _no way_ \- but then the memory started coming to him, what happened last night. "Hell no." He placed his hands on the sides of his head, shaking his head back and forth. "No, no, _NO_." Noting Gajeel's search for clothing only aggravated him further. He reached around for the closest thing he could grab - one of Gajeel's unscathed boots. Cobra whipped it at the other dragonslayer's head. " _Get out._ " It was a deep, growling demand.

"Ow! Fuck-" The boot bounced off of Gajeel's head and span off to the corner of the room. "The hell's your problem?! Last night you were more than willing to-" A second boot interrupted Gajeel's defense, this time landing a direct hit on his mouth. He felt his lip bleed and decided now would be the best time to make a hasty retreat; he ducked beneath the next projectile without waiting to see what it could be and slipped out into the hallway.

Cobra got to his feet and scooped up Gajeel's boots before trudging over to the door; throwing it open, he again took aim and threw them at Gajeel's head before slamming the door shut behind him.

So Gajeel was naked and slightly bruised in the middle of a hotel somewhere downtown. Just great.

Not like his house wasn't all the way across town or anything. But he knew when trying to get through to his partner was a lost cause. Nothing to do now but make his triumphant march back home.

* * *

Gajeel thrown out of the hotel room, Cobra pressed his back firmly up against the bathroom door while he attempted to sort everything out. His fingers grew white-knuckled as he clung to the sheet wrapped around him like it were life-or-death - like removing the cover and exposing his body would kill him.

He waited. He listened. He hoped Gajeel would just hurry up and leave, because he couldn't think with that guy around... Especially not after last night.

What in hell's seven bells had gotten into him? He had never been so... wanting before. Other people talked about wanting it, but was that what it was supposed to be like? No one forcing him, no one restraining him or hurting him if he didn't do it right... Cobra sat there, wrapping himself further in his sheet cocoon - he stared off into space. He didn't want to remember his first time, or his second time... or his third... But what had happened, it was different than every other time. He had a feeling that he liked what he did with Gajeel.

"Shit." He groaned and slammed the back of his head against the door, running his fingers through his messy crimson hair. "Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. _Fuck!_ " Why? Why _him_ and why _Gajeel_?

Cobra shifted, no matter what had happened or how - his rear was still sore from it. They hadn't used a condom, that was nothing new to Cobra, but it was going to be a hassle having to clean himself out after all this time. The sooner he cleaned and got dressed, the sooner he could vacate the premises and pretended like nothing had ever happened.

Yes, that was the best way to handle the situation, he reasoned.

Thankfully he had used an alias when he had checked-in.

* * *

Meanwhile, Gajeel had entirely given up his quest for modesty. The iron dragon sauntered home with a swagger in his step, displaying himself with just as much pride and abandon as the infamous Gray Fullbuster. Maybe their morning didn't pan out so well, but that didn't dampen his mood for long. As he made his way past crowded streets of confused onlookers, a sense of pride began to swell within him. And maybe, just beneath it, a faceless glimmer of hope.

By the time he made it home and donned the first pair of pants he picked up off the floor, Gajeel had replayed the whole night in his head. After he dug up some stray forks from some drawer to munch on, he was certain this was one of the best decisions he'd ever made. Gajeel swept a couple boxes of mismatched metal scrap from the couch onto the floor and flopped onto the cushions with his legs propped up to finish his meal, a lazy smile gracing his face.

Maybe, if Cobra came around, the nights here wouldn't be so lonely anymore. Not that Gajeel would ever admit to being lonely, as much as he valued solitude, but lately he'd found the poisonous asshole's company far more enjoyable. With their team so successful too - if he could call a dead client, ruined mansion, and ravaged city a success of any sort - he might even be able to afford to get his shitty, run-down house fixed up.

And maybe, just maybe, get Cobra off the streets. Why should his partner live out of shitty hotels when Gajeel had room to spare?

With that thought in mind, Gajeel's goal was clear. He swung his legs down and headed out, grabbing a spare tunic on his way to the door. His partner should be at the guild by now. They could go for one more job before Gajeel proposed his idea; it was never a good idea to be dirt broke before extending an invitation to a new roommate, after all.

* * *

He glanced to the side, trying to keep a straight face and steel himself before speaking to the Guildmaster. Nobody looked at him, or if they did they didn't consider his presence in Fairy Tail's hall strange anymore. Cobra approached Master Makarov, holding his posture straight and his head high.

"Master," he greeted. It came out awkward, like the words were crooked in his mouth. He still didn't like saying that word.

The elder Fairy was sitting on the corner of the bar counter, his usual perch for watching over his guild. He turned and smiled at the young man. "Ah, Cobra. You're not usually up and about this early. Something wrong?"

"Yeah," Cobra began, "I know there's still a day left, but..." His voice trailed and he tightly crossed his arms over his chest. "Would you... consider calling off the probationary team a little early? I... would like to go on a job by myself. I can't deal with Gajeel right now."

Makarov let out a light chuckle. "That almost rhymed you know," he said, amused. "I know you two have been testing each other's patience since the start, but what could be so important that you want the probation lifted with only a day left?" He stroked his chin, quickly feigning thought. "You slept with him, didn't you." A wide smirk grew on the old man's face, a sharp contrast to the look of absolute horror that came across Cobra. The Guildmaster explained: "Don't look so shocked, you're walking funny. Just because I'm an old man, don't think I don't know a walk of shame when I see one. I've seen plenty of teammate affairs in my time. Been responsible for a few, too..."

Cobra could only stand there, eyes wide and lips pressed shut in silent horror. He was speechless. He was overhearing things about Makarov he wished he had never heard.

The Fairy Master blinked, coming out of his mental memoirs. "Cobra?" he waved a hand in front of the redhead's face but got no response. "Oh, that's right, you can hear thoughts... Well, now you know a lot more about me than you did ten minutes ago! At one time I was quite the looker!" Makarov burst out laughing.

Cobra, on the other hand, was screaming internally. He wished desperately for such a thing as brain bleach to get those images from his head. Forever.

Makarov came down from his laughter, patting the younger mage on the shoulder. "I understand what you're asking for, given the circumstances. I see no problem with letting the probationary team disband a day early - and don't worry, I won't tell anyone about your team tryst with Gajeel."

"Thank... you..." the words were almost mechanical coming out of his mouth, Cobra still recovering from the horror-show he had overheard.

"Just next time, send the poor fellow home with some clothes on, eh? Half the town's talking about how he must've gotten drunk and gone streaking again."

Cobra managed to frown at that one.

Gajeel kicked the guild hall's heavy front doors open to find Fairy Tail as rambunctious as ever. They seemed to be throwing a party for some reason or another - most likely someone burped and it sounded vaguely similar to the first few notes of whatever song is popular at the time, giving cause for celebration.

More asinine bullshit, and all the more reason to get out on their next job sooner rather than later.

But all the noisy fairies and drunken shenanigans in the world couldn't spoil Gajeel's mood today. After a quick survey he spotted Cobra near the bar chatting to the Master - an odd place to find the redhead, but convenient enough. He put on his default cocky smirk to make his way through the crowd and slapped his hand on Cobra's shoulder when he arrived.

"Bout time you got yourself cleaned up, Slitherfuck! So what job are we taking on today, eh?" Gajeel asked, eagerly awaiting their new assignment.

Cobra slid out from Gajeel's grasp. " _We_ aren't taking any jobs," he started to explain. " _I'm_ taking a job." And if Gajeel followed him on this job, he would not be held responsible for the iron idiot. "By myself."

By himself? Didn't they still have at least a day left before the probation period ended? Gajeel's smirk faltered. Surely his sense of time wasn't _that_ bad. "The hell you mean, by yourself? We were just warming up!"

"Me. By _myself._ No _you_ ," the redhead sneered. He folded his arms over his chest, ears perking, ignoring the confused yet challenging look he was getting from his now ex-partner. "Don't be stupid. You know exactly what I mean."

"Mm, no, Gajeel. I'm afraid it's true. He was just headed out," Makarov poked into their conversation before some kind of fight broke out. The last thing he needed was a fight between two Dragonslayers. "You've been let off probation early. You can resume going on lone jobs once again. Consider it a gift, in light of today's festivities."

The fuck kind of gift was that? Gajeel balled his fists and glared the shorter second gen down, though he couldn't quite keep the sting of abandonment and crumbling plans out of his thoughts. "Fine. It's about damn time, maybe I can actually get some work done without him getting fucking eaten every time we go out."

But despite the sudden surge of irrational anger, questions about Cobra's wellbeing and housing situation still battled for dominance. Then again, why should he care, anyway? It's not like he needed a slithery little shit who'd walk out at the first opportunity in his life...

His usual frown twisted into a strange pout, unable to process whatever the hell that tangling, dragging feeling in his gut was. Gajeel was worried about... him? He was going to part on good terms, but then Gajeel _had_ to bring up the getting eaten bit. "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid," Cobra tilted his chin up, eyes hard and glowering. "I really thought you already knew."

Makarov pointed his shillelagh between the two of them - as if the little staff would keep the two from going at it. "Both of you stop this right now. You're making fools of yourselves." The Guildmaster looked at both of them, shaking his head disapprovingly. "Cobra, if you have the job you want to go on, please go check in with Mirajane and be on your way." The Master watched as Cobra, lingering for a moment, held back whatever venomous words he had and turned heel, going to do so. Makarov sighed. He knew it was going to be a messy break-up, he just had to keep it from getting messier. "Gajeel, are you sure you don't want to do the same?"

The iron dragon didn't answer at first, merely glowered after Cobra's retreating back. He should have expected this, he really was a fool hoping for a different outcome. After a few moments he grunted his displeasure and turned away. "Screw it, let that piece of shit get first pick," Gajeel responded, then stomped his way to the second floor. He needed to put some distance between himself and the poison dragon. perhaps the noise of the guild would prove enough to get his mind off the team.

By now the party was in full swing, most of the fairies gathered around as Natsu again recounted the tale of his victory against Oracion Seis by pantomiming wildly, often pulling Wendy over to help show off. Laughter, cheering, and the clinking of bottles assaulted Gajeel's ears as he settled in a secluded spot against the second floor's railing. From here he had a full view of the spectacle, and he couldn't help but wonder how such an idiot could have ever defeated both himself and Cobra in battle.

As his mind wandered, lulled along in part by the raucous noise that blurred into a wordless cascade, Gajeel thought that perhaps ending on such a sour note wasn't the greatest idea. He should have played it cool rather than growing defensive so quickly; he should have asked straight away if they could be roommates instead. Was his pride really worth the rejection?

But as his mind wandered, so too did his gaze.

His eye landed on two cats in the middle of the crowd; Happy and Charle, was it? He'd met Salamander's cat before, but now the new kid had one, too? All thoughts of his ex-teammate were immediately chased out by a much more urgent concern.

He was the only real dragonslayer without a cat.

With all the excitement, only Makarov noticed a sullen Gajeel quietly slip out of the guild. The old man allowed himself a brief sigh; he hated seeing his children distraught, but he knew only distance could help Gajeel.

Had he known Gajeel would spend the next several hours scouring back alleys for a cat of his own, Makarov would never let him live it down.

* * *

Clear of the small city, Cobra stopped to glance back at the peaceful little burg. His first official job for a legit guild... he didn't know if what he was feeling was pride, disgust, or possible indigestion. Maybe it was relief, knowing he was finally able to go out by himself with no iron idiots stomping on his coattails-

An odd, hot feeling flashed through his body - it made him freeze up. Something was wrong. Very wrong.

A nagging, nonstop ringing had filled his ears since he had left the guild. At first, he thought it was that he had been around loud people for too long. But on the edge of Magnolia, with no one else around, the sound was highly suspicious. If Cobra didn't know any better, he could have sworn that sounded like a high-powered magical energy weapon in its charging phase.

His ears told him nothing, he could only hear that obnoxious ringing and the sound of the wind picking up. So why did he have this tightening feeling in his chest? This feeling felt like... danger was near.

A sound akin to the crack of thunder forced Cobra to cover his ears. The sky was ripped open and the ground began to shake.

* * *

The last thing Gajeel remembered was searching for cats. It had started to rain, and that damned cat of Salamander's came along and laughed at him. He didn't remember much after that; just a massive peal of thunder, a moment where the rain seemed to flow backwards, and then darkness. He awoke buried in a thick layer of dust; his first inhale filled his lungs with the fine powder, and he erupted from the ground coughing and spluttering. The dragonslayer finally cleared his lungs, but a few steadying breaths told him the air was just as thick. He blinked sand out of his eyes and surveyed his surroundings, his bewilderment growing by the second.

The dust was everywhere, stretching in an endless blue expanse all around him. Gone were the streets of Magnolia, with all the buildings, homes, canals, and people they contained. Even the bright, sunny sky seemed to have gone missing, replaced by a swirling vortex of dark, electrified clouds.

Where the hell _was_ everybody?

"Hello?" Gajeel called, hoarse at first. He cleared his throat before trying again. "Oi, any of you shits still alive?"

A soft wind disturbing the dust was his only response.

Perhaps he had gone crazy. It wasn't normal for a whole city to just up and disappear like that. Unnerved, and unwilling to stay in one spot for long, Gajeel began to wander aimlessly. Clouds kicked up behind him every time he lifted his feet, leaving a trail more obvious than any footprint.

His wandering took him nowhere. The expanse of dust remained unchanged, broken only by an occasional stone or bit of unidentifiable rubble. Monotony grated at his mind, his confusion soon giving way to anger and irritation. _He should_ be looking for a cat right now, not for any sign of civilization.

Hell, he _should_ be safe at home with a new roommate preparing for their next job, but oh no, not only did that plan fall through but the world had to go and end too. Just great.

A distant sound interrupted Gajeel's ruminations; muffled footsteps shuffling through the dust echoed across the empty landscape. Suddenly alert, Gajeel scanned the horizons until he caught sight of a trail of dust clouds similar to the one he left behind.

Through the fine smoke came a cloaked figure, clothes tattered and his face obscured by a camo-design bandanna. On his back, he carried an array of large, powerful-looking staves; using one to walk with. The stranger stopped before Gajeel, his brown eyes flicking downwards before coming back to the iron dragon's face. "I see that I don't have to dig you up..." he spoke in a monotone, though there was a sense of urgency somewhere in there.

Gajeel couldn't suppress his smile at the sight of another living being, but soon corrected it into his trademark scowl. He recognized this weirdo from tales of Fairy Tail's most elusive S-Class mage. It wouldn't do for Mystogan of all people to see him grinning like a fool, even if the world had just ended.

"Well I ain't a useless sack of shit like everyone else here. What blew your ass into town?" he asked by way of making polite conversation. "You wouldn't happen to know where the town blew off to, eh?"

Mytsogan offered a blithe blink before pointing skywards. Towards the moving clouds, echoing their last throes of defiant thunder, starting to clear away in the presence of the spiraling vortex that sucked them in. "That and there, to answer both your questions."

"...The sky?" The iron dragon shielded his eyes and looked up to the spiraling clouds. He hadn't given the sky much thought before, as the lack of anything around him consumed his full attention. _"The fuck?"_

"Yes. 'The fuck', indeed." For a moment, the masked mage looked skywards as well. He thought he'd had another month before this specific portal would try to open back up. "It's called an Anima, it's a kind of portal. Steals magic, en masse. The city, the guild, all the people, everyone; they got sucked up by that thing."

"Huh, sucks to be them." As usual, Gajeel thought there was no way this could be his problem. Sure, the lack of a home and guild was inconvenient, but most of those rowdy flies were getting on his nerves anyway. Hell, even Cobra was- Wait. "Hold on a sec, you said _all_ the people? Just who all got sucked up in that thing?"

"Almost everyone," Mystogan replied. "I shielded myself from the blast before it came. But counting you, there are three survivors. All Dragonslayers. Wendy, Natsu, and you."

"Only three?!" Gajeel asked, louder than he intended. He coughed to cover his surprise. "So... You didn't happen to see a red-headed fuck wandering around, have you? He's a dragonslayer, too." Who knows; maybe Mystogan just didn't know how to count. It was worth a shot.

"No, so far I've only found you three," Mystogan held up three fingers. "Wendy and Natsu and their Exc- ... _**cats**_... went ahead through the Anima to scout and see if anyone survived on the other side."

"The hell did you sent those brats through for?" Gajeel asked indignantly. "If anyone's gonna save the day you know it's gonna be me!" He might not have his own cat, but Gajeel was certain he would be more useful in the field, especially if they were "ex-cats".

Besides, if Cobra was in danger, he was obligated to run to the rescue. They were still supposed to be a team today after all, and a Fairy never turned their back on a teammate.

Mystogan tilted his head to the side, a seemingly incredulous gesture. "They went ahead before I could explain much to them, or to give them what they needed." He reached inside his cloak, withdrawing a small bottle of red pills. He rattled the round pills in the glass bottle before tossing them to Gajeel. "The world on the other side of the Anima is... scarce in magic, which I'm guessing Wendy and Natsu are just finding out right about now. People there cannot use it. If you take two of those pills, you'll be able to retain your magical abilities on the other side. I'm going to stay here for a little longer to look for more survivors."

Gajeel snatched the delicate bottle from the air and studied the little balls inside. Every damn ad and nosy adult he'd ever seen always harped about not taking mysterious drugs from mysterious strangers, but what the hell. They smelled liked candy through the cork. And they were red, just like that snotty second-gen's hair.

Besides, if that thing in the sky was stealing magic, and people needed to take these mysterious drugs to _use_ magic, it was very likely that Cobra could wind up just like these little red pills. There was no way in hell Gajeel would let that happen.

His mind set Gajeel popped off the cork, quickly dry-swallowed two of the pills, then stopped the bottle and slid it into his pants pocket. When the candies didn't immediately melt his insides, Gajeel turned a cocky grin on Mystogan. "If you're staying here, then that means I get to go save the day alone, eh? Don't get yourself killed out here!"

The Anima beckoned; the grey clouds all but devoured left only portal's gaping maw. Lightning flashed in the inky mouth, telling of a thunderous hunger. To Gajeel, it looked like one hell of a ride. The iron dragon set his feet firmly apart and planted his fist on the ground in front of him. With a brief flare of magic a steel pole encased his arm and extended rapidly, rocketing him into the sky. Higher and higher he rose until the air felt thin, until the swirling darkness nearly blotted out his senses, until he could stretch himself no further. At last the pole retreated back into his arm, leaving him hanging in mid-air. Just as he began to think this wasn't how he was supposed to enter the portal, that he might black out, the maw swallowed him whole.

Darkness engulfed him, all-consuming darkness, and then, a flash of light.

Gajeel blinked hard, blinded by the sudden burst of sunlight, overwhelmed by the lack of nothing. When at last his vision returned he found himself planted on solid ground, surrounded by a sea of clouds. A soft breeze brushed the dust from his shoulders and parted the clouds beneath him to reveal a sprawling desert a mile below; and off in the distance, a city dwarfed by a towering fortress.


	9. Edolas

" _Iron dragons, being of the earth, have impeccable tracking abilities. They always, without fail, find what they are looking for. Such an instinct has evolved after years searching for the precious metals deep within the earth that constitute their diet."_ ~ Dragon Historia, pg. 126

 **Chapter Nine: Edolas**

The heat of the desert city was beginning to grate on Gajeel's nerves. Or perhaps it was the ever-moving mass of strange people filling the streets, constantly bumping into the iron dragon as he wandered aimlessly, searching for anything familiar. The rumbling of lacrima-fueled engines from speeding cars of all shapes and sizes resonated off the flat stone walls that rose into the skyline. Gajeel found the noise incredibly disorienting, and by the time a scrawny punk ran straight into him he was at wit's end.

"Hey, watch where yer going, freak!" the boy turned and shouted - were he any older than a teenager, a thick layer of makeup concealed his true age.

Gajeel responded with a fist to the face; his punch knocked the punk clear across the street and left a large powdery stain on his knuckles. Before he could draw back a bright flash went off just a foot away, nearly blinding him. He grunted and swatted at air, but his new enemy eluded him.

"The fuck- Where are you, you little shit?" Gajeel snapped, rubbing at his eyes to push the spots out. When he could see again he looked around wildly, only for his eyes to land on an unmistakable mop of red hair.

Cobra stood before him, a camera in his hands. The only things out of place were a pair of black cargo shorts, a loose red t-shirt and white zipper hoodie, and a smile as bright as the camera's flash.

The redhead pointed his camera and - with a suddenly devilish grin - snapped a shot, the camera's flash once again blinding Gajeel. While Gajeel was blinded, he popped the camera lens back on and took off down a side alley.

Rather than flail at nothing and stumble around like a fool, Gajeel held his arm over his eyes until his vision returned. A green starscape soon resolved into a sandstone alley and a sea of bystanders parted by the escaping cameraman.

...Right, Cobra was still mad at him for that scene at the guild. Gajeel mentally kicked himself for that fuckup, but they'd have to worry about that later. Team disagreements didn't matter much when their whole city was missing. For now he gave chase, bowling over anyone in his way.

Jumping strewn garbage cans, swinging around a rusted fire escape, climbing over fences; Cobra was agile, Gajeel not so much. When the white hoodie rounded another corner, he stopped - trapped at a dead end, with a dumpster his only chance at getting away. Opening the top he slid inside, waiting for the heavy boot-stomps to pass.

By the third time Gajeel tripped over a toppled garbage can he was already fed up with this whole ordeal. An avalanche of curses and discarded fast food wrappers accompanied him around the last turn before he came face-to-face with a blank wall. No doors, no turns, no way out.

And no Cobra.

Only a few scattered boxes and a dumpster greeted the iron dragon. Did he get lost, or take a wrong turn somewhere? He stepped back out to the end of the alley to get his bearings, but the scent trail undoubtedly went this way before dying to the noxious odor of rotting trash. The only way out was over a smooth, fifty-foot wall. Unless...

Gajeel took a few moments to steel himself before holding a deep lungful of clean air, then approached the dumpster and gingerly lifted the heavy lid. First he was met by a wall of stench, but just behind it was his quarry.

With a sheepish little smile, Cobra gave a small wave before trying to scramble out of the trash. He didn't make it far before a firm hand grasped the back of his collar. Using his shoulder to prop up the lid, Gajeel hefted his now ex-partner out of the dumpster and dragged him out to fresher air. It was a good thing Cobra was so damn skinny.

"The fuck is wrong with you?" Gajeel chided when he could breathe again. "I know you're mad at me, but a dumpster? Seriously?" He took a breath to calm himself; perhaps shouting wasn't the best way to get back on good terms. "Look, I promise I won't peek when you take your damn shower this time. Just get cleaned up somewhere, we've got shit to deal with."

He was met with an unsure look, violet eyes that were wary of him. Cobra went to slide past Gajeel, cautiously taking a test step. Thick lips curved into a pout. But... it wasn't Cobra's usual pout. There was no dry cynicism in it, no venom. The redhead looked like a confused puppy.

The thinly veiled attempt to escape was immediately mirrored by Gajeel sidestepping to close the gap between himself and the wall. He glared the smaller dragonslayer down, prepared for their usual battle of egos. Something about that pout threw him off, though. It wasn't as cocky as it should be. It seemed more timid, if that was even a word that could be applied to a deadly former dark mage.

Gajeel couldn't take it on top of the silent treatment. "Look, I'm sorry, alright? I was a dick, you're a dick, can we just forget about the whole dicks thing that happened for a while? Let's talk about it over dinner or something, whatever you want."

Cobra pointed at Gajeel and then at himself and shook his head, crimson bangs shaking loose.

"...You're not going to talk to me, are you? You can't be _that_ mad." Yet still, no response. Gajeel sighed, knowing a lost cause when he saw one. "Alright, but I ain't gonna let you off the hook. This _team_ has to save the world, and you're coming with me!"

With that, Gajeel grabbed Cobra around the waist and hoisted his partner over his shoulder. His objective secure, he marched through the alleyways on his way to a hotel he'd seen coming in. It was a cozy place, not too fancy, but nice enough that Cobra might be less objectionable. At least Cobra was light and easy to carry, it made the trip much easier.

Were he more focused, Gajeel would have realized the poison dragonslayer was several pounds lighter than he should be.

His mind fixated on a hot meal and a warm bed, the iron dragon paid little attention as he retraced his footsteps. What felt like seconds later they broke out into the main street where Gajeel was greeted by the warm embrace of the sun and a swift steel crowbar to the face.

"I am warning you sir, release the man or I will have you tasting iron for weeks!" a firm yet wavering voice threatened from behind the tasty treat, which Gajeel promptly chomped into to the surprise and horror of the would-be rescuer. The voice sounded oddly familiar, but that wasn't important now. What was important was that this voice was trying to take Cobra from him.

"Do you know how much trouble I went through to track this fucker down?" Gajeel asked after finishing his snack. "Cobra's mine, and you can just go screw off."

Almost as if the mention of his name upset him, Cobra started flailing. Kicking Gajeel's chest and pounding his fists against the iron dragon's back, he certainly wasn't making it easy to hold onto him. His loose shoes even fell off in his efforts to free himself. When the lithe form on his shoulder started slipping from his grip, Gajeel turned and secured his arms around his teammate's waist. Across from him, a strikingly good-looking guy in a nice suit and hat had Cobra's wrists and was pulling hard.

Something about that surprisingly handsome man gave him pause. Gajeel stood still, scrutinizing the man who tried fruitlessly to pull on Cobra in a horribly one-sided game of tug-o-war. Now that he took a moment to study the guy, his scent was oddly familiar, too. Take away the shampoo and cologne, toss in some sweat and grease, and it would smell just like his own home. Gajeel wasn't quite sure how parallel dimensions worked, but he sure as hell knew his own scent when he smelled it!

With one great heave Gajeel pulled Cobra toward him, catching the stranger off-balance. The hatted man toppled forward and sent all three of them crashing to the ground.

Gajeel wasted no time putting his new friend in a headlock.

"Now that you're done hitting people, I've got a few questions for ya!" he said through a victorious grin. "First off, you're gonna tell me what the hell you want with my partner here, and then you're gonna tell me where I can get a hat like that. Now get talkin!"

Meanwhile, Cobra stood off to the side - clearly confused. He then turned to search for his discarded clogs, and upon finding them, then came back. He looked at Gajeel, then the man with the hat. His mouth slanted to the side, his fingers tapping his chin in thought. He blinked a few times. Then his face lit up with an excited grin that took up nearly his whole face. He reached into his camera bag and quickly withdrew a palm-sized notebook, thumbing through pages and pages of notes and doodles before coming to a blank page and writing something down with a pen.

Cobra then grabbed a fist of Gajeel's black mane and yanked until he had both of the taller men looking at him.

He excitedly showed them what he'd written down: _[TWINS.]_

Twins? What the hell did that mean, was Cobra pregnant? But no, men couldn't do that, not unless it was some weird snake magic... Gajeel glanced at the man he just barely wasn't beating up to make sure he wasn't the only one confused. Now that he took a closer look, though, that mass of curly black hair almost looked like Gajeel's own head when he showered too much. Dirty him up a little, dump the glasses, toss in a few earrings, and the guy could be a dead ringer for Gajeel.

And from the look of astonished surprised slowly crawling across his face, it seemed Gajeel's twin just came to the same conclusion.

"You wouldn't happen to know of a place called 'Earthland' by any chance, would you?" The twin asked.

Gajeel nodded mutely, netting a smile from his twin.

"Then could I hazard a guess that your name is Gajeel?"

Again, a nod. The twin's smile grew into a toothy grin that Gajeel knew all too well.

"Then it's a pleasure to meet you! My name is Gajeel Redhawk. If you would kindly get off me, _you_ are going to help me and EJ," he tilted his head toward Cobra, "blow the lid of a conspiracy within this kingdom."

* * *

Going over a few sandy streets, the three sat down at a table in a mostly quiet tavern. It wasn't run-down, but it wasn't a classy joint either - at least it looked like the owner put a little effort into upkeep. The picture drawn on the paper on the table in front of Gajeel illustrated two circles with a line in between them. One circle was labeled "Earthland" and the other "Edolas".

 _[THERE ARE COPIES OF PEOPLE IN EACH WORLD, BUT DIFFERENT,]_ 'EJ' had written on a piece of notebook paper. _[THE KING DOESN'T WANT PEOPLE TO FIND OUT THAT YOUR WORLD IS WHERE THE CURRENT MAGIC SUPPLY IS COMING FROM. AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT MY BOYFRIEND AND I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO FIND OUT. :)]_ He offered a wide, proud smile.

It was all starting to make sense. Of course a parallel universe would have doubles of everyone. What other kind of universe would there be? If this handsome devil he was sitting across from actually was his clone, then it stood to reason the Cobra he'd picked up was the clonejeel's boyfriend-

"...Wait, _what?_ The hell you mean _you're dating?!_ "

Redhawk glanced between EJ and his clone, perplexed. "We have been together for quite some time. Considering how possessive you were of EJ, I assumed you and EJ's clone were as well. Are you not?"

"Bullshit. Slitherfuck hates my guts. What gives?"

"Well, maybe if you didn't call him 'Slitherfuck' he wouldn't be so adverse to you," Redhawk guessed, more amused than he should be. "You must be more civil. Treat him like the prince you know he is!"

Gajeel pouted at that; it was difficult to do with his heavily studded face, but he still managed. "If you say so. Finesse doesn't really seem to be his thing. So how do I make him stop hating me?"

"Dear Redfox, you can't _make_ someone like you! It must happen naturally. Trying to force it will only hurt everyone involved in the long run."

"Well if you're so smart, how'd you swing getting this guy here?"

It was the question he'd been waiting for. A fire lit in Redhawk's eyes and his chest swelled as he took a deep breath to begin his saga. But before Redhawk could start, EJ quickly shot out his hand and covered the reporter's mouth.

He shook his head, loose red bangs falling into his face more, and held up one finger. EJ then held up another piece of paper, this time with nothing but a simple heart drawn on it and the words _: [NOT A TALE FOR PUBLIC.]_ He smirked devilishly, before taking his hands off his lover's face and going back to writing his words down. _[WHAT ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS?]_

A moment passed before Gajeel realized the question on the paper was directed at him. Cobra was usually more sly and sarcastic. Though rarely soft-spoken, the poison dragon could always make himself heard.

"Well they all got-"

"Whoa now, if I don't get to tell my tale then he must wait as well!" Redhawk interjected. "Why don't we take this back to our apartment, hm? At the very least we should treat our new friend to a meal and a warm bed before sharing stories."

* * *

Later that night, Gajeel found himself wishing he'd been sucked up into that giant lacrima too. If he thought his one-night-stand with Cobra was something to brag about, it didn't compare to the noise coming out of his hosts' bedroom.

 _"What-_ _ **No,**_ _I'm_ _ **not**_ _going to invite him to join us, are you crazy?!"_ Redhawk's hushed but very flustered voice was hard to mistake.

Gajeel groaned and tried to bury his head in the couch he was sleeping on. Maybe if he dug far enough he wouldn't have to listen to his other self's moaning and panting. Never would he have guessed he'd be a bottom, in any dimension. Sleep couldn't come fast enough.


	10. Flip Side

I've been working through some creative slumpiness stuff for a long time, and I finally feel okay enough to keep trying to post this fic. This is the first chapter I'm posting without my co-author.

* * *

 _"... Dragons who have mated will usually have a higher social standing in their flight than lone dragons, the only exemption to this are alpha dragons."_ ~Dragon Historia, pg. 37

 **Chapter Ten: Flip Side**

In most instances, sound was the first thing to come to him. Far off echoes dancing in his skull before he regained consciousness like a fish flopping over a waterfall. Cobra's body jolted as he woke up face-down on the ground, taking in a sharp breath - which he instantly regretted, and he coughed to dislodge his lungs of dust as he quickly got to his knees. "Shit," he coughed, getting to his feet. "What _was_ that?"

The redhead turned, expecting to see a giant hole in some part of the city - but there was no city at all. Magnolia was gone, a flat slate left in its place. A deafening silence rung in his ears. Dark clouds swirled ominously overhead. Cobra frowned. Well that certainly wasn't good.

Snatching up his bag, he headed down into the wasteland and listened for something; anything. For a while, the only sounds he heard were on the edge of the once-city, people looking to come into town for errands only to find it a white void of nothing. When Cobra finally heard something _else_ \- he headed in that direction, determined to find some sort of answers.

That was when he came upon Jellal.

For a split-second, even before he could clearly see the man as anything more than a black speck, Cobra's insides coiled and his thick lips curled back to expose his thin fangs. Images of the Tower flashed through his mind; dark corridors, locked doors, and Jellal - turning a blind eye to what happened to the other slaves, Jellal refusing to let anybody out - Jellal _selling him off_. As he got closer, as he _listened_ to the man more, he began to understand that it wasn't Jellal - not quite. But it wasn't quite _not_ -Jellal and so Cobra still wasn't pleased to see the man.

"Mystogan's a stupid name," Cobra spat in greeting to the ragged S-class mage, with more venom in his tone than was probably needed.

"And Cobra isn't?" Mystogan calmly replied, ignoring the way Cobra seemed ready to jump on him and tear him apart. "You already know who I am," Mystogan added, pointing to his own ears to show that he knew how Cobra's worked. "And I assume you can hear what's happened."

"Sure, you're a copy of someone I'd like to eviscerate." Red tendrils of smoke crawled up from Cobra's wrists, and he curled his fingers into tight fists as he attempted to calm his scales. "A copy of someone I'd like to eviscerate," he repeated, "Saying that some sky-hole sucked up the whole town."

"You know it's the truth," Mystogan pointed out.

Cobra lightly snorted, glancing up at the swirling mass of clouds that seemed to punch through the sky for many miles. He could hear Mystogan's thoughts; that Cobra's Dragonslayer magic had saved him from the "Anima", as it had the same for Salamander, Wendy... and Gajeel.

"It was fine for the other three to go through, but you would be in danger from the Anima if you went," Mystogan said plainly. "Your lacrimal implant-"

Cobra's ears perked, hearing the warning before it was said. "My implant means I'll turn to a solid lacrima statue," Cobra finished the other mage's explanation before Mystogan could finish. He looked up at the vortex, lightly sneering at the extradimensional hole. Lacrimal implants were more hassle than they were worth; and it wasn't the first time his had been more of a handicap than a help. Cobra paused, his ears perking lightly. "But you have a way to prevent that, right?"

"In theory," Mystogan agreed. He rummaged around under his ruined dark cloak before producing a small bottle of strange pills. Cobra could hear that he'd given Gajeel a similar dosage before sending the iron idiot off with enough to help the rest of the guild… and that Natsu dragged Wendy ahead without taking any.

"Drugs," Cobra commented.

"How very astute," Mystogan dryly chuckled. Or so Cobra thought it was a chuckle - normal people didn't make sounds like that. What a freak. "If you stay here, the Council will show up and have a very convenient ex-dark mage to blame for the town's disappearance. However, in order for you to go to the other side there and remain flesh and blood, you'll need to take two of these every three hours. You have enough to last eighteen hours."

* * *

This world was dying. And he could _hear_ it. The land didn't quietly hum with a life of it's own, it was... silent. The magic drained from the land had turned it all to desert, with minor towns and villages scattered throughout - crumbs of what had once been a green, vibrant place.

Knowing Fairy Tail, Cobra headed for where the rumors and destruction lead him - and when he was close enough the loudest fairy he knew was like a beacon, a migraine-inducing beacon. He spotted the fire and sky dragonslayers as he rounded a corner, bodies of various soldier flying through the air, and he tailed them just far enough behind to off the few remaining enemies with a flurry of quick, poison-tipped claws.

"And here I thought you had the brains to not leave witnesses when you're hiding from the law," Cobra remarked. His fingers rigidly flexed as his scales sunk back into his skin, the purple and maroon giving way to his smooth, chestnut skin once again.

"Finally, someone we know is acting right!" Happy and Natsu both said, in slightly off-sync unison.

Wendy shyly half-hid behind Natsu. She was still wary of Cobra, but her opinion of him wasn't what it had been during their original encounter. Carla practically shot daggers at him with her eyes, though.

Just when he was about to say something, he ducked - nearly avoiding a headlock-hug from a black-clad blonde.

"EJ!" the blonde called him. She moved to grab him again and Cobra again smoothly evaded her; she tried once more and once more he slid out of her reach like some awkward dance.

But it was Wendy who moved to correct the other woman, and it was next to Wendy and Natsu that Cobra slunk to stand. "Oh, Miss Ashley, this isn't-"

"Where's your camera, Shutterfield?" Ashley, clearly the Edolas version of that Lucy chick, pointed at him, mouth pulled to the side in a tough-looking frown. "And what're you talkin' for, you ain't never talked before." Cobra only leveled the most disbelieving look he could at her, until he heard her mind catch up. "Shit, you must be the _other-_ EJ!"

"This is Cobra!" Natsu threw an arm around Cobra's shoulders, grinning widely.

"Remember what I said about touching," Cobra warned, and Natsu quickly withdrew.

Natsu, oblivious to the way Cobra pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head, further explained: "And he's pretty good at fighting! But unless you're fighting him, don't touch him."

In a troublesome whisper, Happy added: "He's got _boundary issues."_

Cobra bristled, folding his arms tight against his chest. "That's not what that means."

"An EJ that don't like to be touched and is named after a snake?" Ashley, fully amused, snorted. "You Earthlanders really are the opposite of us."

"U-um, Cobra," Wendy gently interjected, quietly wringing the hem of her dress, "Did Mystogan send you, too?"

He nodded, red bangs bouncing slightly from the motion. "He said you ran ahead before he could finish explaining everything." With a sigh, he produced the bottle of x-pills from his coat. "You want our magic in this world, you have to take two of _these_." When Natsu went to reach for the bottle, Cobra held it out of his reach. "I give you these, then we need to find Gajeel. He has the rest. I can't afford to share with the rest of the guild."

"Troubles with your implant?" Carla said, her tone implying a threat that none of the others seemed to pick up on. Damn, who know a little white cat could threaten with the skill of a demon general?

Cobra frowned at her. He then dropped the bottle in Natsu's hand. "I mean it, Salamander. You two first-gens should be good with one dose each, but I have to keep taking them. I only have enough for twelve hours once you two take your doses."

Natsu stared at the bottle in his palm, frowning thoughtfully. Cobra could hear he was actually weighing the pros and cons of having his magic back versus a limited time table at Cobra's expense. "Wendy can take hers. I'll wait until we find Gajeel." His grin returned as he passed to bottle off to the smallest dragonslayer. Salamander had half a brain and wasn't half-bad, who knew?

"We haven't seen Gajeel," Wendy said. She fiddled with the cap of the bottle until Cobra took it from her, uncorked the top, and gave it back. " _Th-thank you._ "

* * *

Dozens of iron-clad boots beat out a steady tempo underlining an off-key marching cadence that echoed across the wide open plaza. Add to that the cheers of the crowd watching the military display, and Gajeel was beginning to understand why Cobra was alway so grumpy in noisy areas. He sat on the roof of a building overlooking the plaza, shaded by a hooded cloak and far enough from the edge that he could not be seen from the ground. Beside him stood his clone, furiously scribbling in his pocket-sized notebook, and EJ, the Cobra lookalike, silent but for the incessant clicking of his camera's shutter. Their attentions were fixed solely on the massive lacrima crystal that dominated the center of the plaza, around which Edolas' finest military squads were on parade.

"Judging by the size of that thing, it should be the lacrima which contains your guild," Redhawk said, finally snapping his notebook shut. "Just think how many people could be crammed in there, it's large enough to fit a whole city!"

"You sure that's everyone? They'd be pretty cramped in there," Gajeel responded. He cautiously leaned over the edge of their perch to get a better count of the guards below; one hundred at least, making a full ring around the lacrima, and enough civilians to pack the plaza full.

EJ paused, a look of recognition over coming his flat features, snapping the lenscap back onto his camera. He again slid his small notebook from his pocket. _[IT LOOKS LESS CROWDED AT THE NORTH ENTRANCE. I'M GOING TO GO TAKE A LOOK.]_ After he was sure that both Gajeel's had read his message, he gave a small nod before sliding down the fire escape to scout ahead.

Redhawk slid his notebook into a breast pocket, his gaze lingering on the fire escape EJ had descended. A look of concern crossed his face, which he quickly masked by turning a bright smile on Gajeel. "Well, it looks like it's just you and me holding the fort here! Perhaps we could take this time to plot out our strengths and their weaknesses, or come up with an attack plan of some sort?"

"You worry about him, don't you?"

"Pardon?"

Gajeel motioned toward the fire escape, watching his twin's face intently. "You're anxious when he's not right beside you, and you're always watching him like a cat with her kittens. Why don't you go with him?"

"EJ is a capable man," Redhawk responded, his false grin settling into a more fond smile. "While we do depend on each other, he can look after himself. We work just as well apart as we do together, to insist on following him everywhere would only suffocate him and dampen that which makes him special. Besides, his specialty lies in espionage and, er, photoshop. Having me around all the time would draw too much attention and interfere with his work. I trust that he will return to me safely."

It wasn't quite what the iron dragon was expecting, but it made sense.

"Do you not worry about yours?" Redhawk asked.

"'Course I do, but I can't exactly say he's mine. If you've got an 'EJ', and our names are supposed to be mostly the same between dimensions, then he hasn't even told me his real name." Gajeel looked away from Redhawk and let his eyes fall on the lacrima at the center of the plaza, a frown furrowing his brow. "Say you knew he didn't want you going after him, but he was in real trouble and couldn't get himself out of it, would you go then?"

Redhawk followed Gajeel's gaze, comprehension slowly dawning. "I would without hesitation. But, knowing that, you can't expect to be rewarded in companionship for it. If he's the opposite of my EJ, I don't imagine he's especially the cuddling type..."

"Yeah, yeah..."

Both Gajeel's lapsed into silence, the stifling air broken only by the marching cadence echoing up from the plaza. Perhaps the lacrima was large enough to contain all of Magnolia. Cram every inch of it with people, and they might just fit.

"He's down there, somewhere," Gajeel said at length. "He _has_ to be."

"If he is, then we will find him. I've got your back, me."


End file.
